Today, I was having a race with a little kid. I let him win to make him feel like a champion. After the race, he turned to me and said, "Maybe if you weren't so fat you would have won." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML
Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last two miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML
Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, I was watching my 7 year-old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her, "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied, "Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML
Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
What a ******* brat.
boofgall 16
"Rematch". Then show his shit up.
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Comments (101)
goujee 2
Kids can be so cruel, they dont pull punches
heythere131630 9
Smile at him and say. "I'm only fat because of all the iterating little children I eat."
safaeita 32
haha that's funny , you're giving me ideas :p
Oakleysroc 0
yea you told yourself that so you wouldnt feel to bad about losing
CrysisAverted 5
You should of responded with "Maybe if you werent such an ass your legs would be broken"
perdix 31
Tell him the next sport is wrestling, then pile-drive the little bastard with your massive bulk. Pin him by holding his face between your floppy, pendulous boobs. Not only will he no longer feel like a "champion," but sexual encounters in his future will recall this trauma.
FarSide 23
ROFLMAO.
severe_fml 3
I had a dream last night that the sun set at 2:30pm, I stole a car from a country club, and I later wore a pirate mask insulting Johnny Depps portrayal of Jack Sparrow saying I could have done it better... To his face.
DinoChicken 3
Challenge him to a rematch and show him up! :D
oddball1972 10
Punch the lil ****** in the throat !!
newmandotcom 6
Has anybody here thought that maybe the kid does have a valid point?
Jerica_22 5
Rematch!