Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
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Top comments
Jaxro 6
And why was your dog's ass in your face? You would think it would be facing you, maybe licking your face.
Kimienxtc 0
Awww Your dog loves you! :)
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Comments (119)
jSOPURE 3
Mmm. Dog brownies. :)
intoxicant 0
I think a dog farting in your face is sufficiently distracting...
Dragoslav 0
Haha, I took a drink right before I read this and almost spewed milk onto my keyboard.
rukusrazor 0
Um, why were you 69-ing your dog?
poolshark 0
Just for the record, it is highly debated within the scientific community whether or not animals have/can detect feelings. Somehow I doubt you have it all figured out, #17.
ellameno 2
I can't think of any reason - upset or not - that your face would be THAT close to your dog's butt.
OperationNicole_fml 0
Why was his butt in your face and why was your mouth also open....that's nasty :S
ohlordy_12 0
this is so stupid. first, why didn't you move when the dogs ass was RIGHT there..? and 2nd, I'd rather be hearing about your horrible day. this is completely your fault.
zzzzzzzzzz_fml 0
why would you have his mouth near his ass.... regardless if he farted or not...
phoyos 0
thats what you get for having his ass near your face