Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Today, I complimented a woman on her "beautiful pregnancy glow" at the grocery store. She wasn’t pregnant. She was holding a melon. I’ve never backed out of a conversation so fast in my life. Note to self: Don't go grocery shopping after a night of drinking and no sleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KTBulldog 10
Throw it at them... You have the excuse of being hormonal
HouseElf 13
Don't think too much of it, OP. At least you're not one of those people who gets pregnant but never knows it until the baby comes out (believe me, there's a show on that).
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
Fuzzidio 2
You should report them to management, of the manager has any decency he will ban them from the store
Synistiel 14
Are people so stupid these days that you can't tell the difference between pregnancy and fat? That is sad.
CrissyyyS2 22
... You should of paid for them, walked over to those disrespectful kids, keep a smile on your face and say "Hi, I guess you didn't have enough money, so I paid for you". Then have a really mean face and say "I'm pregnant you ******* asshole" and kick him in the sack and walk away like nothing happened.
loulumpkin 8
That's horrible. Kids these days have no manners.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
There were always kids that have been rude and bad mannered.
brittanyrmh_ 12
**** them, who cares? Congrats on your pregnancy, OP!
hannahhlizz 18
That is so unbelievably rude. I fear for my generation.
hannahhlizz 18
That is so unbelievably rude. I fear for my generation.
Futacy 30
Lol FAIL. The teens fail, not OP.
uridea 14
Well now the joke is on them.
SanpakuEyes 18
Not everybody carries the same way. Some women get puffy faces. Some women retain a lot of water and they get bloated. Just because you don't look like you're skinny except for having swallowed a basketball doesn't mean you're fat and using pregnancy as an excuse.