Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Today, I complimented a woman on her "beautiful pregnancy glow" at the grocery store. She wasn’t pregnant. She was holding a melon. I’ve never backed out of a conversation so fast in my life. Note to self: Don't go grocery shopping after a night of drinking and no sleep. FML
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Top comments
KTBulldog 10
Throw it at them... You have the excuse of being hormonal
HouseElf 13
Don't think too much of it, OP. At least you're not one of those people who gets pregnant but never knows it until the baby comes out (believe me, there's a show on that).
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Comments (140)
KTBulldog 10
Throw it at them... You have the excuse of being hormonal
damn_homie 2
Good idea
Chosen_peas 2
15-Damn, homie. If only there was a thumbs up button for that.
Inheritance 10
I'd open it then and there and think nothing of it. Then I would take the empty bottle and throw it at them, and tell them to shove it.
actrixx 4
Or don't stoop to their level. Be the "bigger" person. Lol jk jk
tjv3 10
Hell yeah should have chunked them at their pimple ridden heads
sens3sfailing 25
The number of thumbs up on 1's comment completely mislead me to how good the thread might be...but #1, a few days ago another FML proved that women are allowed to be bat shit insane for the fact they might have had a bad day or PMS...being pregnant is just the trump excuse...women can be bitchy if they want to, society will act like nothing happened because honestly, we are scared of you...a lot...
36591951 9
Being pregnant isn't a good excuse. You make it sound like fat people don't get pregnant.
HouseElf 13
Don't think too much of it, OP. At least you're not one of those people who gets pregnant but never knows it until the baby comes out (believe me, there's a show on that).
Lucia_Malpense 14
You've got to be kidding me. TV shows nowadays...
annie_nk 23
Yep. With the brilliant title of "I didn't know I was pregnant". Apparently it happens enough to warrant a TV show.
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
The show that rationalizes the fear of giving birth on the toilet... Apparently some people can't tell the difference between having to use the bathroom and going into labor.
whatsupbitches 4
I saw one where she was on birth control, only gained around 10 lbs, and had her period every month like normal. She had zero signs, until it came it obviously. That's terrifying.
ALlamaOnFire 20
I've seen that show, my mum is convinced they all have mental problems. She's probably right.
ballbearing 10
I agree. You need to be wildly out of out of touch from your own body to not know the entire pregnancy. Or in denial.
auriane_fml 19
@60. You do realise that some women don't have any pregnancy symptoms and don't gain that much weight. All the women in the show don't show any visible signs of being pregnant. It is possible to be pregnant and not know it untill you go into labour. @OP, let it go. You're pregnant. Congratulations!
mazzera_fml 7
Yes my sister found out she was pregnant at 7 months! Gain no weight, still had her period. She was freaking out because she'd been drinking alcohol every weekend. But baby came out fine. :)
mariah_1_11 22
Not only if there were no symptoms but a lot of the women were told they were infertile and couldn't conceive even if they wanted to. So if they have a few symptoms they ride it off as some thing else. Most of the women on the show aren't blundering idiots. They genuinely didn't know or didn't think they could be pregnant.
HollyDolly660 8
And also, if you have never had a kid before and didn't know much about birth, you could possibly assume you just needed to take a massive shit (also assuming you're riding a bit low on the I.Q. scale, as the woman who gave birth on a toilet seemed to be). Especially if the baby is early and possibly not fully developed or quite small, you wouldn't necessarily be able to recognize it as going into labour or giving birth.
GothicAngel17 24
I gave birth three months early. The size of the baby does NOT affect the pain of labour, trust me.
fantasyworld 39
Thanks to that show I'm afraid I'll give birth on the toilet.
Winchester1990 19
My Nan didn’t know either, she thought she was going through the menopause when she had my mum. Bit of a shock for her haha
florido_fml 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Free slim fast
elephantsarecute 16
If they put it in her cart before she checked out it's not free, it's just an insult.
shayshayshazam 14
It's in her cart dumbass. Which means she'd have to pay for it at the checkout. Sorry 4, wrote this before yours showed up. Now I can't delete it, only edit.
sweethang26 7
Are you dumb?!
xxmollyxx 25
That's exactly what they are; losers. Never mind them and their stupidity.
Jeterforever 3
Yeah who cares what they think. You obviously know you are pregnant and not just fat. Don't think anything of it.
hellodeandra 8
Just forget about them, you know you're pregnant so it doesn't matter if a group of teenagers think you're fat. Congratulations on your baby!
X_Codes 11
I have to agree. It would be far more awkward if people were to think you're pregnant but you're just fat.
obnum 19
Well don't feel bad! Who cares what those ignorant teens think? Congrats on the baby :)
Angio113 10
I second that.(: Congratulations to the OP for being strong enough to bring a new life into this world while those dumbfucks have nothing better to do than torment pregnant women. You rock.
every1luvsboners 11
Tell them that you eat pieces of shit like them for breakfast, then muscle up the strength to take a shit right there - then eat it. It's good for the fetus.
ruabadfishtoo 0
Ah yes, boners. We've missed you and your, um...thought provoking comments.
twitch851 9
Ah the memories
MindFreakazoid 10
Well you certainly are one demented guy, aren't you?
gracehi 33
I thumbed you up just because you referenced "Happy Gilmore." One of my favorite movies, jackass!
onlychildFTW 34
Hmm, this comment was really gross and disturbing.
LairaIsKindaCool 6
"You eat pieces of shit for breakfast...?"
TheDrifter 24
You're on the slim slow program, you'll actually gain weight for the first 9 months, followed by a sudden drop and a gradual return.
Awsumuzzie 12
Wait, gradual return? They regain weight!? But why!?
TheDrifter 24
Perhaps I needed more words. Add "to your original weight" to the end and it makes sense as a weight loss program. Though if it fails, the first interpretation will be correct.
Awsumuzzie 12
That does make more sense, thank you. Still! D: (I'm pregnant and I dun wanna b fat!)
Lucia_Malpense 14
Just forget about it. YOU know that you're not fat.
CheeseTron 15
OP, I'm sorry on behalf of my generation.
TheSasmaster 9
I was just about to say this too.
SweetAsHell 9
I'm sick of these generation posts. Every generation has a variety of people, all with different personalities and ways of interacting. The fact that teens did this does not relate to you personally, you're just of the same age group. Big deal. This refers to every "sorry for my generation" posts.
gracehi 33
There are assholes of every age creed, color, nationality, and socioeconomic status. Yep, sadly, assholes are everywhere. Assholery is a global phenomenon that knows no bounds.
CheeseTron 15
38- There is a large majority of people that act like this in my generation though.
gracehi 33
70, I think that has more to do with your age than your generation. Every generation has a lot of assholes in the teen years. Don't worry. MOST of them will grow out of it.
koolkat27 13
70- I don't think you've been alive long enough to judge other generations, so you can't prove that this generation has the majority of assholes.
onlychildFTW 34
Most people of any generation are NOT like this. You've probably only lived in one place, gone to the same school and so you don't have a large scope on what people are like. Like someone else said. It is more age then generation. There are a lot of assholes I know in their late 20s early 30s.
TawnyAnarchy 7
You guys apparently took what he said to heart. Because of the fact that his generation is in its teen years, he can actually say 'I apologize for my generation.' Don't get a stick up your ass lol.