Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML
Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor, then followed up with, "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML
Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
Today, we were running a special at work that I had previously been told was an online-only special. After the general manager corrected me, I used the joke excuse of, "It's my first day". The customer replied, "I can tell". I've worked there two years and I'm the assistant manager. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML
Today, I went to work at my new job after taking a shower but I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. I started getting strange looks and wondered why, only to find out later that everyone was talking about me, including someone I have a crush on. FML
Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bettyc4 26
Bonerific
FalconCrunch 4
Are you hideous? It could be the zombie apocalypse he was referring to.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
kreepers 6
I would be clueless. Infact, I'm clueless.
SluggerJ 7
Walmart greeter? I'm in the same boat. It's the customers problem not yours...
tylerryder 4
Huh?
kemando 22
Maybe he thinks you're a robot, and the "invasion" has begun.
Pelreskovich 11
Someone thinks you are delicious!
1poohbear5 7
Omg we have the same birthday!!! Sorry tht was random! Hahaha
CRC_101 31
He has already figured out you're starting your first day! He could become a certified stalker! *gasp* Watch out! O_O
Johnny6speed 0
Was there a big wet spot I'm his jeans after that? (I would think semen but I guess it could also be urine)
CeruleanThree 8
This would be a great time to use the Jenna Marbles look.
Shleebs 12
Your comment is so full of win.
perdix 31
This is "Intimate?!?!" I wish there were a category, "Mildly suggestive, but only to mediocre-looking girls desperate for attention and validation."
moop256 10
Ouch didi you know Perdix is very sensitive about his erectile disfunction... That was cold man
perdix 31
I didn't really get that. Was it clearer in a previous version? "It's starting" just sounds like looking at her means a good morning is starting. I'm sure it can be said in a very creepy way that makes it sound disgusting, but I don't see where a boner can be inferred.
perdix 31
Haha, Didi, I would have said, "Launch sequence initiated," because I'm a nerd perv! ;)
bizarre_ftw 22
*facepalm* I just feel like a idiot. I have a whole list of possible things that could have been starting (the entirety of which can be found in comment 126) yet I didn't get boner! >.< (or zombie apocalypse for that matter. I got apocalypse, sure. But zombie? That went completely over my head) I bow to the masters *bows* -afterthought- oh! And thanks for answering my question :)
twilightluvr101 4
Ok im sorry if I sound stupid but im really confused...anyone care to clarify?!