Today, I admit I’m a bit of a big lad, but I never knew how big until I was desperate for a shit so I sat on, and broke, a toilet, flooding the bathroom, at my girlfriend's parents house, the very first time I met them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I had a really big, satisfying shit in the loo of a pub several miles from home. After getting back to my table, my stomach rumbled, and, assuming it was just gas, I let it go. What followed was approximately a litre of brown water, soaking my underwear, jeans, and chair, and dribbling onto the floor. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
Today, I had my first day being my mum’s carer. She did the biggest shit I’ve ever seen, and when the toilet wouldn’t flush it, I had put a gloved hand down the loo and break it up with my fingers. Start things how you mean to go on, I guess. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
The toilet was probably already cracked at the base & or sides it's a common occurrence in old toilets, but alot of modern items only have a max weight limit of 250 to 350 depending on what it is and those limits are even lower on European and Asian produced items such as toilets, furniture, etc.
Chazzster 32
(1) Pay to replace the toilet you broke. (2) This is a wake up call - You need to lose weight before it kills you.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Well, that will be the last you see of them. Or her. There's no coming back from that.
Charlie Given 28
The toilet was probably already cracked at the base & or sides it's a common occurrence in old toilets, but alot of modern items only have a max weight limit of 250 to 350 depending on what it is and those limits are even lower on European and Asian produced items such as toilets, furniture, etc.
Grizz8831 14
even exceeding the listed weight shouldn't break it that quick. unless it is by 100+lbs so I would agree it must have been cracked or damaged... unless "bigger lad" is actually 400ish lbs.
genuinegoodguy 9
What do you weigh?
Chazzster 32
(1) Pay to replace the toilet you broke. (2) This is a wake up call - You need to lose weight before it kills you.
Aurora25 29
dont need that many commers man