Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML
Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML
Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
Today, I was about to climb on top of my husband for some fun time, when I stuck my hand in a giant pile of cat poop on my pillow. FML
Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML
Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
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Top comments
calvo_07 13
You nasty
DrNuggetcase 3
(^_^)/ to ( ._.)
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Comments (81)
calvo_07 13
You nasty
nerobluerose 10
Wear more deodorant?
Guren 0
I just imagined that and couldn't stop from laughing
deviable 9
C'mon, I would kill to have someone who would apply my deodorant for me.
Birdie_Sage 0
Poor guy. Don't be surprised if he ever cheated on you.
BRLHP 24
37, having bad b.o. Means your spouse will cheat on you? Wtf.
Colonel_Lexi 18
Are you the same woman who left bits and pieces of tissue in her ******?
babykillaseason 0
Jamacin me crasy mahn.
kateRAWR 4
58- it sounds like it lol :)
Scarlettx7 0
He's at least trying to help
yayyyFML 2
110- Like a boss
juanaranda1015 4
That stinks..but seriously I think that was kinda rude. He should've let you known first.
CuteLittleDork 0
Pun intended?
badactor009 0
Or, taken you for a joint shower... and continued on there after some soap. Bottom line, nobody can remain squeaky clean 24/7. Instead of rolling on something to mask the funk, do the duo sexy soap scene.
sydie5 12
I actually think what he did was a really effective way of telling her she needs deodorant while still being able to continue the fooling around.
NuTrees 9
I find it rude that she thought it was okay to fool around musty
wlddog 14
Rude??? I can think of several much worse ways to tell her she stinks. It sounds like he did it in a creative and carefree way.
ladyLALAA 29
OP's partner probably did it in a joking manner as to not embarrass her, I think it's cute.
omgcookeys 15
How? Would he have bent down seductively and whispered in her ear " your armpits smell terrible"
blushy 14
at least now you know you have a body odour problem and can do something about it instead of walking around stinky and people talking about it
Meowingtons500 18
This reminds me of the short film about personal hygiene we watched in grade 5 health. "Some bits and pieces ain't nice."
retroblonde97 8
Wow I watched that video too! That lady missed out on more than personal hygiene ;D
Meowingtons500 18
Bet your health nurse didn't impersonate Britney Spears. ;)
Isoldael 27
He should have taken you to take a shower together, deodorant doesn't do much after you've already sweated anyway.
lolipop1234_fml 7
Omg I know this has nothing to do with the FML but I had a corn snake the exact same as your pic!
QueenQuay77 10
That's what I do with my boyfriend when he or I stink after a long day and were in the mood.
rocker_chick105 31
Take the hint!
kuges 0
She should if she has any brains what so ever
poisonwolf 6
Why was there deodorant next to the bed? Before you get into bed check for some pit stick.
sparkrok 8
take a hint? hell, take a shower!
perdix 31
Such a sad precedent: Your poor hygiene leads to seductive foreplay. This indicates that you should stop wiping.
Doxy 22
You should work for Cosmo. That's the kind of tips on sex and foreplay they're looking for.
NotInTheMoodShoo 0
I'm sorry but that ***** funny...
mikeymayhem_87 15
Perhaps ask the poor fellow from an earlier FML post on some advice? I heard he had a great time going down south on his GF :p
perdix 31
He wouldn't have to worry about bits of toilet paper.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
let's hear it for not wiping!
mannequinchaos 5
-.-
Birdie_Sage 0
What? Are you sleeping? What is thaaaat?
TheFamilyElf 17
That's a serious mood killer. Still, would you rather have just stunk and gotten stinker as the night went on?
AritFish 0
Lifting arms up is seductive? You and your husband are into that freaky stuff.
biscuit1080 0
What's seductive about lifting somebody's arms up? What did you think he'd do?
b00kn3rd 14
You're probably not sexually active, which may be a good thing. Think laying down and man on top lifting her arms above her head to hold her down. It's a dominance thing and statically shown to be most women's number one fantasy.
Birdie_Sage 0
Ooor to just put deodorant on the person with terrible smelly armpits.
meade34 2
Thank you 33. I didn't wanna have to explain that to a virgin.
KeepTalking 6
Because being a Virgin is so bad? Good to see the morals of our society being upheld!
raney150 0
-implying having sex is immoral. I don't think there is anything wrong with being a virgin, but I also don't think having se is immoral.
NoisyNykkii 10
Having sex doesn't make you the devil, nor does being a virgin make you a saint. Grow up, kids.