Today, at my grandmother's funeral there was a fight about inheritance. It was my teenage daughters arguing about what they get when I die. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML
Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML
Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML
Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML
Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML
Today, after my cousin recently died, my aunt basically told me that I shouldn't be sad, because we fought. FML
Today, at the end of my great grandmother's funeral, her daughter (my grandma) told me and my mother that she doesn’t have a reason to come back and visit anymore, and that everyone in her life is now gone. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, my granny died. My aunt wants to throw away all her books and furniture. When I offered to take care of selling it, or giving it away, like granny would have wanted, my aunt said she would let me "keep a percentage" of the few bucks I’d get for my troubles. FML
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Top comments
Screwie 25
They get nothing.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
I think someone needs to go to military school for the next couple years. ;)
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Comments (119)
Screwie 25
They get nothing.
kat2812 1
sorry for your loss OP! tell them they get nothing and drag them out of there drop them off somewhere secluded and let them find their own way home (to their rooms forever)
DrDilllonReese 12
Leave everything to your dog or a rabbit or something. Biggest slap to the face.
Screwie 25
No, people tend to steal the money that is left for pets, not a good idea. Leave it to someone who will take good care of it at least, like Batman.
TheInvisibleOne 31
Just remember to hire someone to take care of the pet that's not vengeful.
BenjaminAntonia 1
my roomate's ex-wife makes $79/hr on the laptop. She has been out of a job for 9 months but last month her pay was $8641 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Go to this web site CashLazy.com
Magg0t 8
29 dude, can you stop spamming advertisements on every FML that's posted? You aren't important enough to even try.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Hell no, #29. **** off.
christiebaby578 9
Why did 16 get thumbed down..? I personally love batman.
grahambertus 11
As the great Mr Wonka once said "You get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!"
DrDilllonReese 12
33- because superman came and beat batman's ass
muzy 23
61- Let's disregard the obvious for a moment. Batman once beat Superman to within an inch of his life. Granted, he was using knuckle dusters made from kryptonite but still he kicked bottom nonetheless.
ninjadinos 14
Get rid of them.
TheNewGuy03 29
Tell them they're gonna inherit an ass-whoopin'. |the kid|
Neorecon19 18
And I bequeath to you; A boot to the head.
starflyer59 17
this sounds like my family :( my sympathies, OP
Meowingtons500 18
Sharing is caring?
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
I can only imagine how annoying that would be. Straight up disrespectful!
HolyPotato 9
I only thumbed you up because of your picture.
rockwind_ 5
I only thumbed you up because your username.
Birdie_Sage 0
I thumbed you both down because... I can.
mikezz22 4
nice kids you got there.. feel sorry for you, that would be really embarrassing.
biddeford23 0
That's so embarrassing I couldn't even imagine
DEzey 0
That calls for a good ass whooping. Spoiled ass kids these days. I've lost all hope for humanity.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
I think someone needs to go to military school for the next couple years. ;)
SirCharles83 13
Who knows, maybe they just have a hard time handling death and that's their mechanism. Some people use comedy, some denial, and probably a million other ways. But let's face it, most likely just teenagers being idiots.
BuffaloSabres134 8
Unfortunately that's the way the whole world works.
ohmandapants 17
As hard as this may be for you to believe, there are civilised people in this world. OP's daughters are not among those people.
a_lenzmeier 11
Yes, CIVILIZED people are hard to come by.
ohmandapants 17
Yeah...do not correct me when there is nothing to correct. In the UK it is spelled civilised not civilized. But nice try.
ladyLALAA 29
Grammar Nazi buuuurn!
Birdie_Sage 0
It's all about the money, money, money We need your money, money, money Just trying to make the woooorld dance It's all about the priiiiiiiiice tag.
abbyabb 4
LOL you should troll them, and in your will donate EVERYTHING! And when your old say things like humm this Coffey table would look good in your home ect...
darkestbarbie 11
Coffee, not coffey.
perdix 31
You could say they split everything 50/50, but it would be smarter to say the good one gets a lot and the bad one gets stiffed completely. Then, let them compete for the rest of your life to see who the "good one" is.
EmreArslan 11
And then give both nothing but just a picture of u flippin the bird. Awesome afterlife troll :)
SignUpisntcool 3
She should take a crap in a bag, and let them have that.
Heinousness 0
And let them get pissed when you give it all to your niece. Who dies *unexpectedly* a week later.
zombicidal 11
that's why I'm going to be burned inside my house with all my possessions when I die
LouisianaBob 9
could give it to salvation army instead.
Heinousness 0
I agree with 92, but not to the salvation army. When you think you will die, sell the stuff and donate the money to cancer reserch.
llamafish 25
That's why I'm going to be burned in my house with all my children when I die.
jellitonoctopus 19
Let those greedy ingrates live on the street,leave them nothing but a tent.
DocBastard 40
Just tell them you plan on blowing their inheritance on expensive vacations. And no, they don't get to come along.