Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML
Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, the last parking space outside my work was tiny but I tried to parallel park there in desperation. A school kid saw the whole attempt and sarcastically clapped me as I gave up and drove away. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, after I arrived at work, somebody crashed into my parked car and left a big dent. The impact pushed my car up onto the curb and I got a parking ticket. FML
Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML
Today, I had to drive through a parking lot that they fucked up so bad that you have to put your car in reverse to go around it. I have to go there 6 times a week. FML
Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML
Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML
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Top comments
zaynakins 12
great! you can be that guy who always has half his car parked out of the parking spot.
jelly_bennett 23
Maybe your boss will be generous enough to give you a new one?
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Comments (90)
jonnypoopsies 3
Get there before they do !!
SexyMexi21 23
Time to smart car it lol
natalieeliza 11
Do you live in Texas? Big trucks that are too big for one space = a daily problem.
TwentyFourBeerz 18
Everything's bigger here except for the parking spaces
EbyKat 16
Get an Elio?
chosha_fml 27
Might be worth getting in early so they have to park around you.
creedford 4
So crash into the sports car, if the drivers going to be a douche and not park straight then they're in the wrong if a door just happens to get dented by a car bumper
DavidKnows 11
Simple solution. Arrive early; park crooked. Let THEM come looking for YOU!
DavidKnows 11
I live in Texas, and these guys who drive pick up trucks always back into their parking spots, and I swear they can fit those things into spaces w just inches on each side. They take pride in their vehicles, and slide that sucker in perfectly down the middle of the parking spot. Remember, a door ding hurts HIS paint job/door too!
atav 17
Including myself, that is generally true here in Pa with trucks also.
Taylorchase129 5
Write a note with your keys on both cars...
mrrossh 3
1: Get a rusty as ****, ugly creepy big station wagon, the kind of car a serial killer would drive. 2: Get a bumper sticker that says "How's my driving? 1-800-YOU-GONNA-DIE" 3: Show up early, Park that ************ DIAGONALLY. 4: If anyone says anything, tell them "... yeah ... it was my grandma's car."