Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML
Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, the last parking space outside my work was tiny but I tried to parallel park there in desperation. A school kid saw the whole attempt and sarcastically clapped me as I gave up and drove away. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, after I arrived at work, somebody crashed into my parked car and left a big dent. The impact pushed my car up onto the curb and I got a parking ticket. FML
Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML
Today, I had to drive through a parking lot that they fucked up so bad that you have to put your car in reverse to go around it. I have to go there 6 times a week. FML
Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML
Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML
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Top comments
zaynakins 12
great! you can be that guy who always has half his car parked out of the parking spot.
jelly_bennett 23
Maybe your boss will be generous enough to give you a new one?
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Comments (90)
sturschaedel 27
One simple solution: be there first. They'll have to work around your car when parking and you grt to go home first too!
Liiiiiiiiike 15
Parking is always a b****
kuso_fml 8
If you park close enough to his driver door that he has to get in through the passenger door, he may think twice about parking like a jerk.
gabythatcher 21
If someone did that to me I would just open my door on their car.
soragirlfriend 8
I hope they sue you.
atav 17
...or just piss them off and give them have an incentive to screw OP over even more.
atav 17
Because of people like you is why I park away from other cars when in a public parking lot, #60.
ewang_ 12
Consider yourself lucky even getting a parking spot, I've been at my job 10 years and still no luck!
dannyboy01 3
Just park there early one day. Then the other cars would be forced to park appropriately
skittyskatbrat 19
Shame about all those door dents. Depending on how well YOU drive, you can park close enough to the corner of the badly-parked car that it's very hard for them to back out w/out hitting you. And the truck person can learn to enter through their passenger side door, too. Sorry...rude drivers suck. BTW, you can print off "you park like an asshole" notes from various websites. Hubby keeps a small stack of them in the car, printed on cardstock. You can check off the symptom(s) of a particular jerk's parking!
middlenamefrank 8
I'll swap with you. I ride my motorcycle to work almost every day.
middlenamefrank 8
Okay, okay, concrete advice: Back into your parking spot. That way, you can put the passenger side of your car inches from the car next to yours, since that will be its passenger side too. That gives you a lot of room for error on the driver's side.
atav 17
Please re-read, OP is between the cars.
thelogan22 10
Look at the bright side, the guy in the sports car knows what it's like to worry about door dings. You'll never get one from him
therealjc_fml 14
Seeeing as they're co-workers you could just ask them to park straight so you can get in your spot.