Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML
Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, the last parking space outside my work was tiny but I tried to parallel park there in desperation. A school kid saw the whole attempt and sarcastically clapped me as I gave up and drove away. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, after I arrived at work, somebody crashed into my parked car and left a big dent. The impact pushed my car up onto the curb and I got a parking ticket. FML
Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML
Today, I had to drive through a parking lot that they fucked up so bad that you have to put your car in reverse to go around it. I have to go there 6 times a week. FML
Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML
Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML
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Top comments
zaynakins 12
great! you can be that guy who always has half his car parked out of the parking spot.
jelly_bennett 23
Maybe your boss will be generous enough to give you a new one?
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Comments (90)
MzZombicidal 36
Time to invest in a smart car! Lol. But really, OP, maybe leave a note or talk to the drivers if you know them? Congrats on the parking spot, nonetheless!
Soluxis 17
These are two of my pet peeves. Imbeciles that are either inept at parking or don't give a crap, and people that drive giant penis-compensation vehicles in inner-city environments. We call them Chelsea tractors here after the large amount of Londoners that buy them as status symbols and then can't park them anywhere.
doodlecloud 27
Chelsea tractors driven almost exclusively by mums to 'keep their children safe', even though they can't see anyone elses child due to the height and size of the bonnet. *sigh*
RedPillSucks 33
Oooh Penis compensation vehicles... Ima trade in my SUV for a PCV right now...
ksks1234 33
15 (and/ or 30)-- do you guys have the huge SUVs (like the Ford Expedition) or a huge dually trucks?
Big_Pickle 18
#15, just because someone has a large truck doesn't mean that they're trying to compensate for something. Respect their right to express themselves.
atav 17
You're an idiot for thinking that anyone who drives a large truck has it to compensate for penis size. Try towing a trailer with your smart-car, smfh.
FliBAC 1
Get there before the other two and park in your spot properly.
Wakachulak 22
Best idae yet!
ddlovatolover 23
#19, worst spelling yet!
91hayek 31
You work with douchebags with complexes? Well good thing is you're all probably making a lot of money. That's one thing douchebags with complexes are good at. Btw what do you drive OP?
SnowboarderFX 14
Please explain why driving a sports car or pickup makes you a douchebag with a complex
kaitb1103 23
Just best them at their own game and get there first! If they block you in idk what you can do but wait for them to leave and have a stern talking to them about how they park!
onlychildFTW 34
I got a car towed for blocking me in a spot. Some loser in a big truck parked angled with their back part in front of my trunk.
superjewguy 19
here's what you need to do for revenge..........put a note under the wiper blade saying "im sorry for the damage" and watch as he tries to find it
pdp_fml 21
Buy a motorcycle!
CurlyQute 17
My worst nightmare....
dta143 7
Maybe it's time to start driving a motorcycle OP.
False_Stupidity 42
Plot twist: the sports car is owned by OP's boss, so he can't complain about the terrible parking.
CrazyMelvin 14
And the truck is own by the boss's wife/girlfriend