Today, I was eating a bag of almonds I got from the bulk food store, picking off what I thought was stringy remnants of their shells. When I finally got down to the bottom of the bag, I found a silk worm circling around the last almond left of a bag of about 200. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a 3 lb bag of pears. The first two bites were delicious! The third bite revealed a worm and its thousands of eggs. FML
Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML
Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML
Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML
Today, I returned home after a long day, and wanted a snack of the Deluxe Mixed nuts I purchased yesterday. The only thing in the container was almonds and peanuts. My husband admitted he sorted through the nuts then closed the container up so it looked like it had never been opened. FML, and maybe my husband too. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Nutting wrong with that. And if you send a letter of complaint into the company who sold it to you then you would get a bag or perhaps even a few bags free. ;-)
StarElise 0
oh my god. siiiick. defo FYL
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Comments (83)
lyssalicious 0
who eats 200 almonds in one day???? that sounds like a lot.
KatieGoesRawrr 0
I think omgwthFYL keeps the box open in a cupboard.
crash52181 0
First of all you're a fat **** for eating 200 ******* almonds! And secondly.....hahaha...that sucks, but you're not the only who's had that happen to them you ******* whiny bitch! It happened to me (luckily I'm not Jabba the Hut like you) but I only ate a few before I noticed. I laughed it off....
OnTheSaneSide 0
OP said they ate at least 199. Never said they ate the last one. You loose.
MangeMoi_fml 0
lmao. you're a bitch.
frivolous 0
Hey, look at the bright side: if you're fat and disgusted by worms, you could throw up and lose pounds in only a few minutes! If you're not: you just discovered the new weight-loss program! So, this isn't really an FML now, is it?
COBRAMORPH 0
think of it like a ****. Then you'll feel better. Its like when I first pissed on my wife's face, she thought it was gross & refused, but I asked her how that was any different then when I gizzled on her face. See, women arent that bright, they need to have things spoken, slowly & clearly.
juliabadulia 6
We're not retards, asshole. **** you.
Firesprite2009 0
Piss off you titface. We're not stupid. Research shows that we're smarter than you, so where the **** do you get off calling us stupid ? &&, with your attitude, I'm surprised you could even LAND a wife. I've seen your comments on most other FML's, and you're a total asshole. Before you start insulting the female race, consider that your wife is the dumb one. Hell, she must be, staying with you.
Deniem 0
Mm, protein.
tehsoah 0
That's AWESOME. Now you have a pet silk worm!
terriibabiiix23 0
it looks like you have a new pet ! congratzz [:
complicatedbette 0
wow...you should go to the doctor i mean seriously!there might be ******* eggs in your system...just sayin'