Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML
Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PlasticShark 0
today's going to be sunny with light semen showers
Serial 2
at least you weren't driving a convertible
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (271)
Hummingbird114 0
This is why you always swallow instead.
Darth_Taco 14
Well, at least now you have DNA evidence to find the guy that did that. Still, EWW! I am so sorry. Yeah, that was ****** up. And LOL! at #163.
Darth_Taco 14
Crap, now I can't change it. Lol at #162. Lol at # 163 too.
FPsLife 5
Execute the litterers...
Rubiks_Dude 0
Someone threw something out the window and burst on my windsheild before. Well now I had a good reason to put my rollbar supported front end to use. I rear ended the guy majorly). I told him what ever he threw, "imparred my vision" (i could see somewhat clearly). His rear end was destroyed. I needed to replace my bumper and fenders. No biggie.
i_imagine 0
DAYUM. F your life!
KsbjA 0
That's gross. But hey, let's look at the bright side of it... *hint hint* #11
Fragnox 3
#95, that's just stupid. You don't go and chase people down to (try to) beat the crap out of them no matter what they do. You never know what kind of crazies you're going to be chasing. The people were assholes, but if you blindly attack everyone in the world who does something stupid you're not going to go too long without running into a fatal situation. If they had followed up with that, they would've actually deserved it. They handled the situation pretty well. Seriously, some people on this site will be stupid forever. There are too many people working in "FAKE!" and "YDI!" for everything. Let something slide for ONCE...
koda_fml 0
that's why you don't drive fast. haha.
cefarix 5
This is probably the most real FML ever. Man, I've got nothing to say except that completely SUCKS. FYL, I'm sorry :/