Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML
Today, a guy I like tried to talk to me. I got so nervous that I had a panic attack and puked in front of him. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, I was unfortunate enough to discover what happens when you vomit mid-drink at a water fountain. FML
Today, I was feeling sick so I decided to lay down. As soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom. When I bent over the toilet to throw up, my glasses fell in along with my vomit. Before I had a chance to retrieve them, I threw up again. And again. FML
Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML
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Top comments
mubaki 18
stomach acids in your nostrils... ouch
caancoha 0
Go blow your nose, you'll be blowing chunks for weeks.
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Comments (119)
supafly1298 3
bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaahaahahahahahahahaha THATS FUNNY!!!!?!!??!!?????????!??!~~~~~~
Skittlezluva 6
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
TheImaginarySong 16
I didn't even know barf could come out your nose!
carahv91 8
Aww shitty dude!! It must have ****** hurt like a mofo
assassinsblood 15
This is now a fear of mine
gatorgirl7563 22
I'm sure you don't feel like it, but you were actually lucky. NEVER try to forcibly stop vomit from coming out of your mouth, because the vomit HAS to go somewhere, and if you succeed in stopping it from leaving you, it will be pushed into your lungs which can result in chemical burns from the stomach acid and horrible infections from the rotting food particles left behind.
wrongmove 11
Well considering how wasted you were I doubt the guy was as cute as you remember. Pretty sure your projectile vomit let you dodge a bullet.