Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
Today, on a date, I told the guy I could swim. He suggested we race. I agreed to impress him. I jumped in, immediately panicked, inhaled water, and had to be helped out by a 10-year-old with floaties. He asked if I lied about anything else. FML
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Top comments
TipsfromSips 3
just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming...
davex 0
Swim Forrest swim!
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Comments (257)
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming swimming what do u do? swim swim swim...(:
SaggyBoy135 0
Just keep swimming just keep swimming.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
really? I mean really u don't see other ppl who just said the same thing ahead of u? XD lol
GabbyCharityM 0
135 - Didn't you?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
uhh yea but I would have posted it sooner like in page 1 but no my iPod had to be gay and say sending to many request try again later so I couldnt post it then
luvluvEgla 5
well, thats karma....
GabbyCharityM 0
He just wanted to be forgiven, because thats what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence. (Llamas With Hats reference)
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
Lolololol.
itswhateveridk 0
well obviously your alive now so it's all good
abbenhammer 0
lol I know how you feel. I'm on my varsity swim team for highschool and whenever I have a difficult set I gotta get out to take my inhaler for chlorine induced asthma. and my coach yells at me to suck it up, it's not easy hahahah. good luck man!
xXemoturtleXx 8
swim Forrest swim!!!!
Likeasombooddee 0
103 you are bitch.. man up
JessRenea98 0
douuche..!
EZ2XLR8 7
haha well I can see how your instructor would think that. hahah that is just hilarious!!