Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
Today, I was at my uncle’s farm and his pig had piglets. They looked super adorable, so I picked one up. The poor thing started shrieking bloody murder. Mama pig wasn’t too happy. I have the stitches to prove it. FML
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I ate at Waffle House for lunch, and had a Pork Chop Dinner. I'd never had it before, but I definitely I won’t get it again because later on I was getting ready for a shower and I try to let a fart out. Bad idea, because I shat all over my bathroom. Now I think I have food poisoning from it. FML
Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML
Today, I was struck at home with a stomach virus. My dad, being an occasional insensitive smart-ass, decided to cook some bacon, sit right in front of the couch I was lying on, and eat the bacon. Last time I tried to eat bacon with a stomach virus... Not pretty. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML
Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
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Top comments
lyndis_fml 0
Pity she didn't dissect you.
lindsaylikeomg 0
this reminded me of the trailer for the movie where they feed the baby pig bacon...
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Comments (106)
ihateuall 0
oh poor ******* you. oh no, my mom took me home from school and made me food! my parents would just have done nothing. stupid ****
zlovato1 0
haha same here it was hard to look at meat the same haha
raiderlover94 0
that sucks....this is why I don't eat pork
i_am_random 0
Ahaha, I dissected a pig today too. But instead of fainting, while i was taking out the small intestines, i was squirted with all the liquid that was in the pig.
yourdestini 0
this is hilariouss(:
CitizenSnipz 0
@IamRandom: The first time I read that it looked like instead of fainting it looked like farting. I'm like lolwut?
HammerBro 5
Irony with a little bit of protein! *shot*
ohhoho 2
pah. I had to dissect the same rat for 6 weeks for Bio lab... Honestly you were probably smelling mostly the preservatives.
Androgynoel 0
I had to dissect fetal pigs in high school biology 4 years ago, and while I didn't faint and actually did well and found it quite interesting, I haven't been able to eat pork since then or even tolerate the smell because all pork smells like fromaldehyde to me now. In short, op, I feel your pain and am really sorry for you:(
perdix 31
I wonder what happened later when your boyfriend tried to pork you.