Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, I noticed my daughter’s sullen mood and asked if there was anything I could do to help. With tears in her eyes, she snapped, “Yeah, you can go back in time and keep that appointment you’d made at planned parenthood!” I never had such an appointment and her older brother is a mean asshole. FML
Today, my coworker was going on and on about how her son was nice and got good grades but that she needed to find him a therapist because he's too shy in class, and how she didn't want her friends to think badly of her. She's a counselor. I sat in silence for almost an hour, because all I could think was, "WTF? Poor kid." FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Today, my husband and I have been teaching our son to deal with bullies using peaceful conflict resolution techniques. My younger sister however thought it’d be a good idea to teach him how to “roast” his bullies back. So far he’s made three kids cry and I have to see the principal. Thanks Sis. FML
Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his or his mom's name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we'd found her she told me, "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old twin brothers yet again. I began to get desperate when they took my phone and would start crying every time I tried to take it back. My mother found me thirty minutes later, huddled in a corner, crying. I'm 27 years-old. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
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Top comments
fantasyworld 39
Idiots shouldn't reproduce.
silvercamaro 22
Does she also shake babies to get them to stop crying?
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Comments (87)
fantasyworld 39
Idiots shouldn't reproduce.
jalmanza2580 11
I'm guessing it was a joke... plus its different when you have your own vs. a sibling
MattM95 16
Well hopefully OP can help teach this idiot about proper care for young children.
Flaming_Pandas 15
This FML demonatrates natural selection at its finest.
nix1993 41
Obviously #16, everyone knows you're supposed to suffocate your siblings, but you shake your own children to get them to stop crying! There are some things that are not different when it's your own, common sense being one of them. Unfortunately you don't magically grow some when you have babies.
marcranger 29
Not to mention "different" could mean worse, something a lot of those "it's different when it's your own" spouters seem to forget.
NemiDrake 8
No worries. Judging by the way she handles a crying baby/toddler, their bloodline won't be around long enough for it to have any significant effect on the IQ of Michigan/USA.
Ltsdragons 19
Idiots are the reason for lack of oxygen anywhere. They breathe it all in then waste it all talking about stuff that you don't want to here and then leaving carbon dioxide. And that's how idiots kill people
Ltsdragons 19
Hear*
SinusLinus 6
Exactly
cdncw 20
Unfortunately, it seems as though the bigger the idiot, the more children. Probably due to being too stupid to understand birth control...
Trainn 19
Too late for that.
Dreamsorrow93 24
She should have her own tv show...
drunkmunkey 24
I'm pretty sure mtv already has one for her
Nat52482 25
I hate it when people say stuff like this...especially if it's about teens and pregnancy. There should be no such thing as 16 and pregnant. It's completely just promoting teen pregnancy because it's pretty much saying "oh you're pregnant before you're out of high school? Let's put you on tv and make you famous for making poor decisions!!" There are so many things wrong with this.
SystemofaBlink41 27
I'm preeetty sure #2 wasn't being serious.
stargirl_95 24
#56 as someone who's watched 16 and pregnant, I don't think that it's meant to do that. It's supposed to encourage sixteen year olds not to get pregnant. The show just highlights how hard it is to be a teen mother, how your friends might abandon you because they can't relate to you anymore, and how even the father won't necessarily stick around and you might be alone with a screaming baby. The kind of teenagers that would get pregnant just to be on that show are the kind who would do absolutely anything to be famous.
minihoover 1
#74 that may have been the reason it was created but alot of teens dont see it that way some see it as away to 15 minutes of fame
mikepzz 27
Oh that's a good idea, I should try that sometime... -_-
symboic 13
I don't think some people caught onto the sarcasm
False_Stupidity 42
Must be about time for people to change the batteries in their Sarcastometer or upgrade to the Sarcastometer Pro X2!
mikepzz 27
Atleast I have 2 people who understood.. Oh well
coming back in the future 30
I'd hate to be that kid or her future son.
silvercamaro 22
Does she also shake babies to get them to stop crying?
Enslaved 38
Shaken not stirred!
ilovepilloes 7
I think the step-child may need a hospital
kyuubi1 14
I-I just don't even know anymore.
Ozzien 26
Ahahahahaha, that was funny. ....Wait, that was a joke, wasn't it?
annarcheer 19
I'm hoping she was joking.. you'd think he would be dead if she wasn't.. Thats really scary sorry op
AlexGamerGuy 9
Hopefully she was joking.