Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, I noticed my daughter’s sullen mood and asked if there was anything I could do to help. With tears in her eyes, she snapped, “Yeah, you can go back in time and keep that appointment you’d made at planned parenthood!” I never had such an appointment and her older brother is a mean asshole. FML
Today, my coworker was going on and on about how her son was nice and got good grades but that she needed to find him a therapist because he's too shy in class, and how she didn't want her friends to think badly of her. She's a counselor. I sat in silence for almost an hour, because all I could think was, "WTF? Poor kid." FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Today, my husband and I have been teaching our son to deal with bullies using peaceful conflict resolution techniques. My younger sister however thought it’d be a good idea to teach him how to “roast” his bullies back. So far he’s made three kids cry and I have to see the principal. Thanks Sis. FML
Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his or his mom's name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we'd found her she told me, "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old twin brothers yet again. I began to get desperate when they took my phone and would start crying every time I tried to take it back. My mother found me thirty minutes later, huddled in a corner, crying. I'm 27 years-old. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
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Top comments
fantasyworld 39
Idiots shouldn't reproduce.
silvercamaro 22
Does she also shake babies to get them to stop crying?
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Comments (87)
CurlyQute 17
That's terrifying... I hope she was joking.
Mr116 13
It's sad that one of the most challenging/impactful things you can do in life. (Raise a child) Is approached by society today with such a flippant attitude.
bosco69 1
prolly no serious -- 1 baby = 1 paycheck -- pop 1 out -- wait couple weeks -- start another -- and repeat
Algorithm 24
Watch less Fox News.
shessovain 7
Please tell me that was a poorly executed joke.
stargirl_95 24
I agree with everyone else who's saying that you should recommend she put that baby up for adoption and call child protective services to keep an eye on her when the baby is born. That sounds really scary and she seems unfit to take care of children.
Techno101 13
I see nothing wrong this is basic knowledge
DenverTyrrell 13
I wish her baby good luck! And if he or she grows up they are probably gonna be stronger than all of us for surviving :(
Plastic_Stitchez 25
...
_Peppermint_ 34
Birth control should be excruciatingly free...and maybe abortions.
linkalipski_fml 6
that's breaching your confidentiality! it's very unethical of you, hope you won't talk about your clients in the future
MidnaLink 35
It's still pretty confidential since no names were given out, Genius.
stargirl_95 24
It's only a breach of confidentiality if OP put any information that would allow people to identify who her client is.