Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
Today, as I was taking a walk, I heard a cyclist and so I wanted to move to the other side of the sidewalk for them. It turns out that I walked directly in front of them instead. Nearly scared them to death. FML
Today, I was sitting on my bike texting when someone snatched my phone and ran. Like an idiot, I jumped off my bike and ran after him. He then ran in a big circle, got on my bike and sped off. FML
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Top comments
Mr40Hands 5
Poor little girl
KushMastaDisasta 3
"Today I was playing in the park, minding my own business, when some guy ran me over on their bike. FML"
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Comments (157)
SS 31
This is why I have wing mirrors on my bike
whoa_is_failz 6
Pay attention!
Pammy25 15
Awe please take her to the hospital!
Hamcons 1
I think your comment about yourself is hilarious. To the point!
drewpeacock42 1
hahahah people on fml are savages she's already got thumbs down on this post too....amazing
drewpeacock42 1
With a face like that it's hard to look at the comment first, sorry.
austinkiser 3
44 - for future reference stop complaining cuz it's rather annoying and just move on
Rawxterz 4
Karma's a bitch
geeksaresexy 18
How is anything in this story karma?
gleeklove 2
Aww. Bless her heart :(
oops_im_fucked 8
Nice! I love hitting little girls with my bike, I feel so alive to swerve into a crowd of them.
Hamcons 1
Hey there. U r a cutie.