Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
West coast redneck. The physics of this story is somewhat dubious if you are using a normal oven. Do not bake cookies in an iron smelter!
lissn 0
First I thought "YDI" but then again I'd burn myself for some cookies So, FYL. :P
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Comments (72)
LilaBear 2
When you bend over to look in the oven, wouldn't the necklace dangle away from your chest?
LilaBear 2
are you serious?? Every married woman I know wears gold on her ring finger (whether it's yellow or white gold). I also have a gold-plated necklace with a solid gold nugget as a pendant. Gold is pretty common.
alleyes 0
by wearing gold around the house you automatically void any rights to bitch or whine about anything.
LilaBear 2
some people will wear the same necklace every day regardless what it's made of. Most women I know own a gold necklace of some description.
hey_now 0
Some of us are allergic to everything but gold. I wear gold pretty much every day - nothing extravagant, only a chain and pendant usually. That being said, if you're getting burned on your neck from baking cookies, you're doing it wrong.
dspadres 0
And this is why you're supposed to open the door about half way first to let out the burst of hot air before sticking your face close to it. That's really the only way you could have burned yourself unless you stuck your head in the oven to check the cookies, in which case you're dumb.
nm22395 0
Were the cookies good?
Brooklynxman 0
I.....how? If the air was hot enough to heat the gold to temperatures high enough to burn you your neck would be in a burn ward. This is a first for me but I am going to have to call fake.
doggie3 0
Lilabear- every married woman I now wear platinum on their ring finger. oh. wait. o probably know rich married women.
seraphina_fml 0
Holy, shit. I don't see how anyone can call fake on this... and I hate to say that I did the exact same thing about two weeks back, but I was making bread, and my necklace was silver... But still! I thought I was the only person to ever have done this. Definitely FYL. That sucked hardcore.
5upernova 3
Ouch T-T But thank you for sharing this. I have a feeling that you just saved a bunch of people who enjoy baking and wears golden accessories!
BlazeZakuPhantom 0
Make a note, gold conducts heat very very well. Now you know...and knowing means all you require are blue and red lasers...