Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
West coast redneck. The physics of this story is somewhat dubious if you are using a normal oven. Do not bake cookies in an iron smelter!
lissn 0
First I thought "YDI" but then again I'd burn myself for some cookies So, FYL. :P
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Comments (72)
mcwildcat8230 0
Yea Im with DresdenB17. The physics of this are not possible, if there was enough heat transfer to make the metal that hot your neck would have certainly been close enough to burn without touching the necklace. This is simply physics and thermodynamics unless of course you have found a necklace that generates energy without any fuel in which case congrats because you are going to be the worlds first trillionare. Bullshit.
kukopia 0
Good use of some big words, but Fail at their application to logic.
xYumix 0
I like how the idiots who obviously don't know enough to know this can be true is stating with such conviction that this is a fake entry. Please don't diss if you don't know.
Youd_laugh_2 0
#78, I like you. That tattoo idea is a very "glass is half full" thought.
quarty165 0
While I agree with what you're trying to say, don't go calling people idiots if you can't even handle subject-verb agreement.
TrulyPitiful 2
While for most people this could be a very bad thing I would actually kind of think a burn mark of starts on my neck would be cool. But since the OP is obviously not that type of person, I suppose FYL.
88sforlife 0
Should Have Stuk Wih Ur First Thought
wishiwazritch 3
whatever this isnt an fml...theres people on here who have actually tragic heartbreaking stuff happen to them.
kcooldude550 0
4 words, BEST BURN MARK EVAR.
miume16 0
That sounds pretty cool!