Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
West coast redneck. The physics of this story is somewhat dubious if you are using a normal oven. Do not bake cookies in an iron smelter!
lissn 0
First I thought "YDI" but then again I'd burn myself for some cookies So, FYL. :P
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Comments (72)
ScaryyMary 14
This is why you should have just gone to the dark side. They would have GIVEN you cookies and you wouldn't have had to make them yourself! It must be a message from them.
Six_and_the_Moon 3
I could see how this might happen if the necklace dangled down so that it was closer to the heating element than the rest of you (and thus burned you when you moved back and it touched your skin), but that only makes me question how long you stayed there staring at the cookies. Were you having some sort of baked-goods induced reverie? Eyes wide, vacantly staring at bubbling chocolate chips, mesmerised by the slow breathing of the cookie, puffing up and down .. up .. and down .... warm heat bathing your face, your mind intoxicated by some bizarre cookiephoria? I certainly hope so.
mousehunter 0
I think that would look very pretty...
COBRAMORPH 0
You'd think a woman would know better around a stove .
luxornv 0
I guess you work in some magic kitchen where the laws of physics cease to exist. Heat transfer does not occur that quickly, even in something as small as your necklace. It probably got warm, but in order for it to burn you, you would have had to have the door open for quite some time and have your head in the oven.
reecescuphoe 0
can i have a cookie?
englandtilidie 0
Also...it might be worth taking it off when drying your hair...if it burnt you just opening the oven, it'll burn from the hot air on the hairdryer...i found this out the hard way! OUCH! FML lol!
felidae106 0
Some people pay for that kind of skin modification
DresdenB17 0
it isn't physically possible for that to happen so quickly. unless there was conductive heat transfer which would basically require your face to be inside the oven. I wish people who embellished stories would be educated about the physics of what they claim happened...
Failsinking 0
:D At least you'll have an awesome looking tattoo on your neck now. Without all the pain of needles stabbing your skin rapidly :P