Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
West coast redneck. The physics of this story is somewhat dubious if you are using a normal oven. Do not bake cookies in an iron smelter!
lissn 0
First I thought "YDI" but then again I'd burn myself for some cookies So, FYL. :P
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Comments (72)
jessxoxo28 5
actually, it sounds pretty cool
puppy1278 0
i know right!!
puppy1278 0
i know right!!
crazyarsedfly 14
Yay for making cookies! Sucks about the burn though :(
perdix 31
Red stars on a white neck? You need to be in a Toby Keith video.
glasswater 0
Uhm, normal ovens don't blast people with air hot enough to burn flesh. If this is real, which I doubt, you should learn how to use an oven because you're apparently doing something horribly wrong.
idkweird 0
This. There is seriously NO WAY it could hat up the gold fast enough that it would burn her.
boatkicker 5
My oven blasts hot steam out when I cook things, which is hot enough to give minor burns, but nothing worse than what a light sunburn would be. For the steam to even get your neck you need to be leaning close. It disperses pretty quickly once you open the oven. It's only happened to me once, back when I was first learning to cook as a kid. I've seen it happen to a few people, though. Even if you did get burnt though, it wouldn't be from the necklace, or in the shape of it. Metal takes a while to heat up, and the steam would be gone too fast.
NrthrnLghts 0
What most people don't know is that gold happens to be an excellent conductor of heat. I've heard of this happening on more than one occasion, so this FML isn't fake at all. My first reaction to this was YDI for wearing gold near a stove, but since most people aren't aware of the above fact, FYL.
boatkicker 5
If there was enough heat to make the gold hot enough to burn, then it was enough to burn the person on its own, even with no gold.
D2_fml 0
Maybe it's not gold.
hbgoddard 0
What the hell is this??? A woman that can't cook?! CAN YOU AT LEAST MAKE A GOOD SAMMICH??
xxxNataliexxx 0
YDI your so stupid you retard I would of just laughed at how stupid you are fatty
mj2123 0
Really?
SmartestDummy 0
But that sounds so cool......
christy_xo 0
xxxNataliexxx, she's automatically a fatty because she baked some damn cookies? you should probably stop breathing.. nobody likes assholes.
shizzle12 0
completely agree.