Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
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Top comments
Hammer1722 19
That's horrible! Good on you for being a good person OP
nzhx 23
It's the thought that counts, OP. It's a shame your act of kindness took a wrong turn.
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Comments (53)
EarlFug 19
"There's no such thing as a free lunch" - Pretty sure Freidman was talking about economics, not pigeons.
latenerd 11
I think it's more like F *his* life.
foxmatrix15 8
You mean flock of seagulls? And he ran... He ran so far away?
ohSNAPyall 27
Why'd you give him a worm sandwich?
KRYPYAT 14
**** his life :(
GhostFox 34
I'm pretty sure that, yes, OP DID mean FHL, but it's site mandated to end posts with FML. That said, this is why you don't feed animals people- it makes them see humans as a food source, and wild animals will happily attack if it means food.
Thegoofygoober 15
Birds of a feather mug homeless together ;)
Xynie 20
At least you tried
brenton490 19
Mama always said it was a crazy world out there!
BabyrooKid 11
"Buzzards gotta eat, same as the worms." --Josey Wales