Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
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Top comments
RhiannonD 0
Why would your boyfriend squeeze a blob of sunscreen and just leave it like that on your leg?
LilKonvicted 0
Haven't you heard?? Bird is the word
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Comments (85)
stonerchu 0
If your bf left a blob of sunscreen on your leg that's equally mean.
meepmeep_fml 0
are you retarded? is your boyfriend retarded? why would it be sweet of him to squeeze a blob of sunscreen on your leg and leave it while youre sleeping?
_apecakez 0
bright side: it was bird shit, not an old, creepy man's semen. got to be happy with that. :D
dabomblyktiktikk 0
i was just thinking that XD
xstaticdelta 6
Lol you shouldn't just take stuff and rub it all over you
itsTiffany 0
Ewwwww that really blows.
24788 7
Birds seem to be getting smarter. I don't know though birds are everywhere.
f_ckerdef_ck 0
why smell your hands?
wantmenot 0
Another bird fail FML lol.
peoc 0
damn, before reading the end i thought he had left his 'man juice' on her? hahahahaha
stealthmuffin 0
LOL 13. @OP: Even if your boyfriend was into just leaving blobs of sunscreen on you and not rubbing it in, there'd be more blobs all over your body. If he was into it and put it only on one leg, he's kind of retarded. Also, why exactly would your boyfriend just put a blob of sunscreen and then leave? And why is it sweet?