Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Today, after receiving yet again a dozen insulting texts, I realized that my dog has way better grammar than my ex. FML
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
designerskyline 0
Well German isn't your native language, so obviously.
Icantfindmymommy 0
Haha no the bird just copies people it doesn't speak on it's own like you hve to. Good for you tho that you do know any German at all I suck at Spanish.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (47)
Icantfindmymommy 0
Haha no the bird just copies people it doesn't speak on it's own like you hve to. Good for you tho that you do know any German at all I suck at Spanish.
sweetpandora_fml 2
How mean of them! >
designerskyline 0
Well German isn't your native language, so obviously.
YourAFailmod 4
But still, that bird is a beast
sweetpandora_fml 2
How mean of them! >
Veritas143 0
The bird mimicked someone who was most likely german and therefore was fluent (most likely)...so you're upset because someone in Germany speaks better German than you..Go choke on some VEINERSNITZLE!(dont care about spelling on that one)
MrFloooo 18
I dont want to ruin it for you, but Wienerschnitzel is from Austria.
joshizzle3 1
Apparently you're not great at English either... "A bird speaks better German than I." Implied predicate, fool.
i_is_a_tr00l 0
Don't you mean, "Speaks in better German than me?"
truelyawesome 0
it is actually correct.
PaddedWhiteRoom 0
TAKE THAT!
doch_fml 4
The word nay doesn't mean no. Nein means no.
Blabloop_Fishie 0
German is a horrible language anyways.
Subtext 10
I'll just stop now. These shifting comments prevent commenting..
doch_fml 4
The word nay doesn't mean no. Nein means no.
vampiredude1 0
I speak German to my point das Sind sehr dumb und ich denke dass ist kuhschei*e
voveraite 7
"this Are very stupid", so that's your point? :D