Anonymous
Good riddance
Today, after receiving yet again a dozen insulting texts, I realized that my dog has way better grammar than my ex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
WELLFUCKYOUTOO
Toronto, Canada
Goblin mode
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
yesguysgetabusedtoo
Papamoa, New Zealand
It's for the best
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Afroman720
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
hopeless romantic
Dayton, United States
Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML
doggylove
Winnipeg, Canada
Good boy
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
really?
United States
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML
random person
United States
Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe ;)" and "Shit wrong person" to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML
fucking hate bitches
Today, I realized that the girl I like only replies to my snapchats if I include my dog in the picture. FML
Anonymous
Astoria, United States
Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Your dog is sending you grammatically correct insults by the dozen? Are you sure he's not using ChatGPT to help?
49_Donuts 15
Why is your ex not blocked?
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Comments (5)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Is your dog free to teach a class at summer school this year? My nephew is a dumbass.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Block your ex.
49_Donuts 15
Why is your ex not blocked?
RichardPencil 32
Your dog is sending you grammatically correct insults by the dozen? Are you sure he's not using ChatGPT to help?
poopface82 25
At least you got out before you ended up having to mutter, “I married her?” every time you interact with her. Which you’re forced to. Because you have children together. At least I hope that’s true.