Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I was walking into work holding a coffee and a bunch of other things. My employee saw me and held the door. I was almost there when I dropped my coffee, tried to catch it, tripped over the curb and fell flat on my face. I heard the door close while still lying there. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I rushed to work after spilling coffee on my shirt and thought I’d dried it enough. Under the office lights, it looked like a giant brown stain. Three people asked if I was OK. I spent the whole day hunched over my desk pretending nothing was wrong. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
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Top comments
wisericky 12
Dont wear those pants to work. Just dont even wear pants to work, they are overrated.
TylersMB 0
so im guessing you were wearing dark colored pants or jeans? because anything light colored would have showed the color of the coffe. your husband is a nice person btw.
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Comments (81)
rainport 0
lol
MyF_ckingLuck 0
weirdo with issues
MariJ82 14
That's grounds for divorce! ;) lol
Freeze_fml 17
You are dumb! ;) lol
adiaboe27 4
I'd be more concerned about smelling like coffee all day.. The stain is easy to explain, but smelling like old stale coffee is gross...
liy223 6
why so concerned about looking like you peed yourself when that must've hurt like crazy?
OfficeNinja 5
rednecks think the strangest things are funny. but really - causing someone to spill scalding hot liquid on their lap always cracks me up...
montressa_FML 0
I agree with #6 do the same.
XxbrokeNCYDExX 6
I want to do that now(:
cetlawizard 15
what an ass-hat..maybe it would be hilarious to "accidentally" spill a hot cup on his crotch @ a stop light, or you could put his hand in warm water while he's sleeping & make him wet the bed & make him buy some depends after you tell everyone he has a bed wetting problem! :)
cetlawizard 15
why have people negative voted on the comments that the husband may be abusive??? he might actually do more than OP listed here to her....to all of you who thought what he did was funny...you are all a-holes & karma will get you someday..when it does, please don't post your fml..cause YDI! :)
Freeze_fml 17
Because a practical joke like this does not in any way make the husband abusive, and that anyone who thinks that is the case is clearly a dumb bitch who gets offended too easily and actually believes that an abusive husband would rather spill coffee on their spouse's crotch while driving them to work instead of beating her ass with a crowbar. That about right?
stoptrying 9
@51 And karma will get you for wishing harm to others, and when you post your FML we'll laugh our butts off at you like we are at what this husband did. See how that works?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
A-freakin'-men, Freeze. The naïveté is astounding.
EnterChoose 1
Hope you weren't wearing white pants.
btayl949 2
If she were wearing white pants it wouldn't have looked like she peed herself