Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML
Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying, "I want my cat back." I have no idea what they are talking about. FML
Today, I thought I had fully patched up the hole in the wall near the stairs. I was proven wrong when I heard my cat screaming and hissing near it. The black cat who lives in my backyard decided to say hi, which my cat didn't take too kindly to. She absolutely whooped his ass. Not a fun thing to wake up to. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, the highlight of my day was going outside and finding that there were two very friendly cats right at the front door. The worst part of my day was quickly shutting the door while trying to stop my cat from charging at them. I now have scars to prove it. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Leave him a note saying, "Hey, man, I left the door open and a rather large homosexual man came in. Careful. He's a bit TOO friendly," and have a huge guy come out of the corner right then.
Gingerly 0
Are you retarded? Stray and Feral cats can be really mean, they'll attack the shit out of you if they feel threatened.
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Comments (96)
DameGreyWulf 1
Sounds like something that would happen in a sitcom.
NaziZombie 0
Comedic timing is everything
boredinjp 17
That made my day! And I thought things like this happen only in movies.
ohFawkYou 0
HAHAH :D
agginym 0
ahhahahaha. you suck.
saranicole824 0
love this one!
DameGreyWulf 1
Hey, if your friend posted the note on the fridge, thus the cat assaulted you from above... I think you found a descendant of my great-aunt's old cat.
Amysbodybetrayal 0
You and I must have the same great-aunt. O_o My whole family swears that my great-aunts cat was possessed by the devil. It's dead now (and unfortunately so is my great-aunt) but it was so bad that I can honestly say I've even SEEN the cat. It was always kept in a room that only my great-aunt could go into, he was simply wonderful around her!
DameGreyWulf 1
Hey, my great-aunt with a cat is dead too! Perhaps we DO have the same one.
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Weird...hmm...either an odd coincidence, or...what was your great-aunts last name? Hahha
DameGreyWulf 1
Beasley.
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Dang, my great-aunt's last name was Word. Ohh well.
pinkdancer 0
Wow I just wasted one minute of my life reading this lame ass FML. F My Life!
Hellcrapdamn 0
Took you a whole minute to read it huh?
100lol 0
.
MissCharlotte_fml 26
You must be pretty slow then huh? How long did it take you to read this thread?
blackdog_fml 0
hahahhahahhaha that is funny as **** dude
Rota 0
Favorited. Finally a funny FML.
ccthompson 0
What is your picture? iPhones taped together? I don't get it? :)