Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML
Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
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Top comments
texmas 0
Well, that was an incredibly rude reply to breaking something that belonged to someone else.
Spinach 0
Yeah, your first reaction should have been "I'm sorry," not "shit happens."
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Comments (168)
horniboi 0
maybe she right like ur parents ran out of condoms that night hahha
Forgotten_Name 0
Low blow?
fuckmyfuckenlife 0
fucken loser
kiit_fml 0
What you said was rude, so I cant for the life of me figure out why she would say something rude back... oh wait.
texmas 0
32, et all, it was a JOKE. And it was FUNNY. Of course, I'd have probably said my kid was an accident, too, if she grew up to be such a rude, insensitive bitch.
alwaysalady 0
I gotta tell you, when ever I hear one of my children say the word 'accident' in any form, I am immidietely paralyzed with fear. That is the worst word in the history of parenthood.
pickymofo 0
holy shit u'r mom is a bitch
wtfxup 0
hahahahhaha
kicksblaza429 1
witty moms are the best!!! can i make-a sexy-time with your mother?
Xaos 0
haha. you should've apologised instead of excusing your behaviour with "accidents happen" your mother saying a rude thing like that in anger? shit happens, get over it.