Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML
Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
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Top comments
texmas 0
Well, that was an incredibly rude reply to breaking something that belonged to someone else.
Spinach 0
Yeah, your first reaction should have been "I'm sorry," not "shit happens."
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Comments (168)
lanbee 0
I broke a vase yesterday. I felt really bad and couldn't stop crying.
Pandalover94 0
hahah that's what u get for trying to be a smart ass if ur gonna say accidents happen expect a rude come back jack ass
yourlifeisbetter_fml 0
That vase was probably symbolic of your dad's cheap condom.
Thundergreen23 0
That's pretttttyy dicked out. :/
kheartz 0
OWNED!!
siberianhamster 17
Stupid bitch. Your conception may have been an accident, but how do you give birth accidentally?
landreth0105 0
That's just plain wrong !
kairoxsox 0
I love you too mommy
laurens2110 0
Wow that's really mean for your mom to say. Maybe she was joking or serious... The world may never know
Thehottestvicki8 0
That's awful.