Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML
Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
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Top comments
texmas 0
Well, that was an incredibly rude reply to breaking something that belonged to someone else.
Spinach 0
Yeah, your first reaction should have been "I'm sorry," not "shit happens."
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Comments (168)
juicyjen 0
your mom is cool
Smiley14_fml 0
hahaha who cares!!! the majority of the people out there were accidents...i think i was i think its funny...
yeahreally 6
lol thats horrible
jarofarts 0
damn that's harsh. doesn't she mean conception?
PsychoX 0
Maybe it was the wrong time of month? Mothers can be TERRIFYING at the wrong time of the month. And seriously, apologize. "shit happens" isn't the greatest response in the world. maybe "oh, fck, sorry, woops. hope that's okay... shit happens around me sometimes... but at least I don't get constipated too much." but... yeah. Just laugh it off. Seriously, it's better if you laugh at people who say things like that. It's more productive than wrist-slitting.
jackaaa 0
She probably meant your conception.
ForestFire0 1
If you weren't so aloof, I would have sympathy for you. But since you're probably a clumsy oaf who has broken so much of your mother's shit you're tired of faking an apology, I just admire your mother's quick wit.
RandomHero 0
That's ****** up, haha
shamille 5
whoa, doesn't she mean your conception? i hope so... oh haha. #28 i just saw yours.
McLaughlane 0
I don't care if the OP was insensitive about the vase, that doesn't excuse their mom's remark. There are lines you don't cross as a parent and she definitely crossed it, what a bitch.