Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
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Top comments
Eliseopwns 22
Teenage fads... Not your fault. A good laugh for her future self, you know?
tjv3 10
Well you started going wrong when you allowed a cardboard cut out of Edward Cullen into your house
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Comments (98)
Grayness_ 26
Maybe is just a phase she's facing right now. She'll laugh about it when she gets older. We all do
Mossears133 15
Don't take it too personally. As a teenager myself, I can say that I would honestly confide in a hobo on the street before I confided in my parents about something personal. It may just be that "they don't get it" thing, but a lot of the times (at least in my experience) it's true. Parents just can't relate to some things. I have nothing positve to say about the Edward Cullen thing though...... (O_O)
yourmurderscenex 13
well, speaking as an adult and a parent I would much rather have my kids come to me and not to a cut out or a hobo. I always go to my mom even with the off chance she won't understand. kids need to understand that majority of the time they are trying. just give them the chance.
EpicSquishii 21
"Oh Edward, why can't you bite Jennifer for calling me hairy during Gym class? And Mrs. Parker for giving me a D in math? And Sparky for peeing all over my new shoes? I thought you loved me! I'm sorry for yelling. You know I could never be mad at you... I just get so lonely sometimes... Do you ever get lonely? *Stares into chronically constipated face*
theaaxis 27
Twihard sickness: Second only to Beiber Fever...
Pstraka6 20
She's young, let her have moment with her cutout
XxcaitanatorXx 12
well if u did the best u can then its just on them
DKjazz 20
She owns a cardboard cut-out, and she cries clutching it. Surely this is not healthy?
Confused77 3
By letting her watch Twilight..
rokolodo 10
Just dont get discouraged. Keep talking to her. She'll come around someday and be grateful that u never gave up on her.
Iceman225 11
Exactly what I was going to say.