Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, while at my job as a nurse in the ER, someone came in with a hangnail. They threw a fit that they had to wait because we were managing a heart attack, a man with colon cancer and a kid with appendicitis. FML
Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML
Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML
Today, I work at a medical practice with over 30,000 Patients. Due to staff sickness and vacations, we only have 50 appointments available. I work on the phones, taking appointments. FML
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
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Top comments
SweetAsHell 9
Someone had two forks in them?? Did they try to get one out with another?
gonad_gobbler 1
I was going to take a stab at a pun, but I was afraid my joke just wasn't going to cut it.
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Comments (77)
Liamj774 36
Wait a minute, somebody swallowed 2 carving forks?!?!?!?!?
stupidpplsuck 33
it says nowhere in the post that they were swallowed, just that they were pulled out. It's fairly easy to tell that OP was talking about the forks being stabbed into a hand or arm or something
outoftown 27
Family mayhem, gotta love it...
superbubbles 4
Does that mean someone got two?
Angelastic_fml 18
Yes, by the pigeonhole principle.
warehouse_rat 8
im ready to be thumbed down, but ah what the f*-k i cant help this :) 2 things 1 only in america and 2 how the hell do american stupid people make non american stupid people look smart ahahaahah lol morons
btstig 11
You were correct in the assumption of being thumbed down.
bigdude1302 2
Wait....so there were two carving forks in one person?
melimeli628 10
I feel bad for the poor person with TWO. xD Im pretty sure it cut down his ego a bit.
pdp_fml 21
I hope that this isn't domestic violence.
tommy0505 1
Who got stabbed twice lol
lilnerd 3
part of me is hoping that somehow, two people were stabbed with one fork, so another was stabbed with three...
The_F3rris 11
Three cheers for the intelligence of humanity!
opoopu 8
Hip hip hooray!