Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, while at my job as a nurse in the ER, someone came in with a hangnail. They threw a fit that they had to wait because we were managing a heart attack, a man with colon cancer and a kid with appendicitis. FML
Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML
Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML
Today, I work at a medical practice with over 30,000 Patients. Due to staff sickness and vacations, we only have 50 appointments available. I work on the phones, taking appointments. FML
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
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Top comments
SweetAsHell 9
Someone had two forks in them?? Did they try to get one out with another?
gonad_gobbler 1
I was going to take a stab at a pun, but I was afraid my joke just wasn't going to cut it.
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Comments (77)
t765234 10
I want to know which retard tried to pry one fork out with another.
yeti37 16
Ricky Bobby...
jemmers 13
Doc, please write about this on your blog.
DocBastard 40
If it were my patients, I would. Alas, it's not mine.
DinosaurTacoTime 18
Hm. 3 hours, 4 people, and 5 forks? What will be the 6th thing?
ohSNAPyall 27
6 turkeys a-laying
DKjazz 20
7 IQ points total.
tsent8 15
8 inbred retards
ohSNAPyall 27
At least you didn't encounter any electric carving knives.
SquishFish 15
I love your picture! xP mind saying where it's from? :)
btstig 11
Looks like South Park.
B5B0N35 18
people these days jk i cut my finger while cutting the turkey
JustAGirlOnFML 11
What did you pull the carving forks out of? Hands? Butt? Face? Penis? Etc, Please tell.
MistressCaitlyn 7
This makes me think of my sister, and how she used to say "Stick a fork in me, I'm done." when she'd eaten enough. Think there's any chance one of the incidents was related to a stupid comment like that?
MadisonGoldstine 2
Who the hell had 2 carving forks in them?!
heyred 11
What about the first snow of the season, when we see people with mangled hands from clearing snowblowers?
kozzard 17
maybe the family wanted to see if they were done?