Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, while at my job as a nurse in the ER, someone came in with a hangnail. They threw a fit that they had to wait because we were managing a heart attack, a man with colon cancer and a kid with appendicitis. FML
Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML
Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML
Today, I work at a medical practice with over 30,000 Patients. Due to staff sickness and vacations, we only have 50 appointments available. I work on the phones, taking appointments. FML
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SweetAsHell 9
Someone had two forks in them?? Did they try to get one out with another?
gonad_gobbler 1
I was going to take a stab at a pun, but I was afraid my joke just wasn't going to cut it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
supahcoolperson 0
How do you manage to stab yourself with TWO????! Lol wowww
Llama_Face89 34
One wasn't enough to deter him from stealing that drumstick.
ICastillo 25
There is a bunch of stupid people out there. Holidays just show their true stupidity.
paintballmeme 0
Five carving forks out of four people. What idiot thought. Oh we'll this one doesn't hurt to bad we'll go to the hospital after dinner. Then OH **** OH **** YEP THAT ONES DEEP HOSITAL NOW
mikeymayhem_87 15
Between people lighting their houses/garages on fire with a turkey fryer and others with various eating utensils jabbed into their bodies.... Emergency personnel are making bank this holiday season! It's job security, OP!
wellthatsukx 0
Your life sucks, but not as much as theirs.
tsent8 15
Just wait until you find a turkey baster in someone's rectum *shudder*
JOcoco 14
That'll be one yummy asshole.
tsent8 15
Juicy too
noisebox 1
That's alot to be thankful for in the good old US of A!
kiroarous 9
I know the feeling "trauma team to the trauma room!!!!; trauma team to the trauma room!!!!"
tsent8 15
Trauma team to the trauma room huh? You sure TRUAMA team doesn't go to the waiting room!
HortonThelephant 15
After multiple Xrays, CAT scan, and full body MRI, it is my professional opinion that the problem lies not in the gushing punctured flesh wounds. But rather stems from your defective frontal lobes that control the ability to make good judgment calls, located here -->O:-D
JustAGirlOnFML 11
That's a cute hat
opoopu 8
Someone's about to bite into an apple hanging from the branch of an apple tree.
kiroarous 9
I also work in a hospital and I am working tonight, to bad I don't get extra pay, I am military. Wait till the drinks get on the road, fun night for u and me.
whogivesafuck88 10
Thank you for you're service! :). Happy thanksgiving to you