Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, while at my job as a nurse in the ER, someone came in with a hangnail. They threw a fit that they had to wait because we were managing a heart attack, a man with colon cancer and a kid with appendicitis. FML
Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML
Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML
Today, I work at a medical practice with over 30,000 Patients. Due to staff sickness and vacations, we only have 50 appointments available. I work on the phones, taking appointments. FML
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
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Top comments
SweetAsHell 9
Someone had two forks in them?? Did they try to get one out with another?
gonad_gobbler 1
I was going to take a stab at a pun, but I was afraid my joke just wasn't going to cut it.
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Comments (77)
KMtheDrummer 6
WHERE IS DOCBASTARD WHEN YOU NEED HIM
mubaki 18
I definitely scrolled through the comments looking for him
DocBastard 40
Sorry, I was over here trying to figure out how carving forks can be so dangerous.
pheebs314 17
Anything can be dangerous when given to an idiot... Haven't you seen the warnings on coffee cups stating that the contents might be hot?
My_Nightmare 19
I was looking for a comment from DocBastard too ha ha. I enjoy his comments on things such as this
Tember12 11
It makes life interesting
unknown_user5566 27
I love that you pulled five carving forks out of FOUR people. Guess that means one patient took an extra dose of stupid pills this morning.
vbmg152 19
That's your job!!! Stop whining!
paintedchocolate 30
But that's what FML is all about!
breathemein 10
How did someone manage to get 2 forks in them?!
parkwaydrive7 9
"Use this knife to pry out the other knife"
Enslaved 38
Sounds like the fights for the turkey legs weren't wrong.
Tdrizzzzzly 19
It never said the four patients ate the forks. Just were stuck in them...
doglover100 29
5 knives out of 4 people? Are they fighting over the wishbone or something?
AholeCop 11
4 knives in 5 people would also be interesting, like a shish ka bob (so?).
jgriff79 23
They were trying to carve a better body.