Today, it seems my body wants me to be a hermit: alone in nature for days, I'm fine. Yet to any kind of stress – like being at the office or in a social setting – my body reacts with smelly sweats, extreme bloating, and frequent flatulence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to exercise to lose weight but I got terrible bloating. Turns out that’s a common response, because the body thinks it’s being stressed. This is right after being diagnosed with allergies to some vegetables. I’m trying to be healthy, I swear. My body won’t let me. FML
Today, I hate my body. If I eat anything at all, even a piece of fruit, I get terrible stomach cramps, and yet if I go too long without eating, I get gassy diarrhoea. FML
Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML
Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML
Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML
Today, my natural body odor has gotten so bad that despite wearing 20 swipes of men’s deodorant under each armpit and taking three showers a day with an entire bottle of body wash, I still smell like a cross between onions and hot garbage. I’m a woman. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
Today, it appears I’m allergic. My stomach inflates like a soccer ball and produces terrible gas, and I really don’t feel so good in general. What am I allergic to? Summertime. Every year. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
OP, I suggest that you may have a big discomfort at being in public with other people and the symptoms you see are your body expressing the discomfort you feel. I suspect that the root of the problem may be a mental health issue that should be addressed. There is no shame in admitting you need professional help and seeking it out. Ask yourself honesty “Am I uncomfortable being around other people?” If the answer is “yes” to a significant degree then that’s not necessarily an uncommon condition.
Yudith 28
Have you thought about becoming a park ranger? If this job doesn't exist in Germany, you could move to Canada, where you could live in a house on stilts for weeks at a time, never seeing anybody, in total harmony with nature. Watch The Red Green Show on Youtube for more details.
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Comments (2)
Yudith 28
Have you thought about becoming a park ranger? If this job doesn't exist in Germany, you could move to Canada, where you could live in a house on stilts for weeks at a time, never seeing anybody, in total harmony with nature. Watch The Red Green Show on Youtube for more details.
Chazzster 32
OP, I suggest that you may have a big discomfort at being in public with other people and the symptoms you see are your body expressing the discomfort you feel. I suspect that the root of the problem may be a mental health issue that should be addressed. There is no shame in admitting you need professional help and seeking it out. Ask yourself honesty “Am I uncomfortable being around other people?” If the answer is “yes” to a significant degree then that’s not necessarily an uncommon condition.