Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Today, my great-grandfather had his arm blown off in the army and used the splintered bone to stab an enemy soldier, and got a goddamn medal for it, and yet I just watched my grown-ass son squealing like a bitch for over 10 minutes because he got a splinter in his toe. How far we’ve fallen. FML
Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, my neighbor's dog bit me, it was extremely painful. The gash in my leg was deep and bleeding like crazy. When I finally got into my house screaming in agonizing pain, my mother said "Quit bitching, walk it off and you'll be fine." My leg is purple now. FML
Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
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Top comments
vicfirthfan 11
that's what the government wants you to think
Tyrex26 6
I doubt one could stitch back on their kneecaps. That's not how legs work.
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Comments (88)
IndefiniteBeauty 17
I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who's ever twisted a knee. Although how I did it was quite stupid.
tvshowsarebomb 2
your grandpa must like cotton from the show king of the hill
crazycatlady5513 4
Who says "you deserved it" to a Vietnam vet?! SMDH
GhostFox 34
Okay, you completely misread the post, now go read it again and actually pay attention. The OP isn't a Vietnam vet, and he's the one that got hurt. The OP's grandfather is probably not a Vietnam vet and didn't get hurt. Thus no one said "YDI" to a Vietnam vet in this event.
TCKM416 15
Sounds like Cotton from King of the Hill
awspinks77 7
If you wanna know why your grandpa shows no sympathy about pain? Join the Army and get deployed. Get shot yourself. Coming from a soldier who has been OCONUS? You never realize what a pussy you are until you're forced to man up.
Thorzix 23
Pain is there for a reason. Just because the army teaches their soldiers to behave in a dumb way for a dumb reason doesn't mean everyone should do so.
Mean_Girl 5
Dang, that happened to me before. It hurts so bad, and it took a while to completely heal. I hope you had more luck, OP. Feel better!
revolvearoundme 15
I jacked up my knee good a couple years ago shoveling snow. Dragged myself back inside and up the steps, rested a few minutes, taped it up good, grabbed my hockey stick for a crutch, went back out and finished shoveling so I could drive to the store and get a real brace (and a bottle of whiskey). Sometimes you just have to man/woman up and do what you need to. Took about 3 months to heal and I still had to hop outside and shovel snow if I wanted to eat that winter.
Humanoidfreak 5
cotton hill in real life.
Tortoose 3
Reminds me of Cotton from King of the Hill
foreverfukt 15
Your Gramps is a Legend