Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Today, my great-grandfather had his arm blown off in the army and used the splintered bone to stab an enemy soldier, and got a goddamn medal for it, and yet I just watched my grown-ass son squealing like a bitch for over 10 minutes because he got a splinter in his toe. How far we’ve fallen. FML
Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, my neighbor's dog bit me, it was extremely painful. The gash in my leg was deep and bleeding like crazy. When I finally got into my house screaming in agonizing pain, my mother said "Quit bitching, walk it off and you'll be fine." My leg is purple now. FML
Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
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Top comments
vicfirthfan 11
that's what the government wants you to think
Tyrex26 6
I doubt one could stitch back on their kneecaps. That's not how legs work.
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Comments (88)
Themexicanbanana 6
ya this happened to me and i fractured my knee and had to get surgery. it feels so ******* bad when your knee displaces.
FalloutScrolls 25
Is your grandfather Brian Williams?
TADspace 30
what are your grandpas bones make of if they could simply "stitch 'em back on"? Skin bones?
cloudyface 23
Knee caps are attached to ligaments that attach to your legs.
GhostFox 34
Except if they were "blown off" they wouldn't be very likely to be in one piece, and would need reassembled. Which. considering war, I don't think they had bone screws laying around to do so.
jmacfan1 16
By any chance is your grandpa Cotton Hill?
cloudyface 23
Are you sure he's never left the country because back in his day they had the draft you didn't have much of a choice unless you were a draft dodger.
theamazingd 17
Even if he did go to Vietnam and get injured, it's totally not cool to ignore your pain in the moment. Shit happens, and one person's pain does not negate another's pain on virtue of greater relative severity.
Wer3Wolf3 16
Your grandfather could have gone to Vietnam and suffer from constant flashbacks... If that was the case, you might have more broken than just an ankle.
SoBeSatan 22
"I had to walk to school in a blizzards year around! Up hill both ways!" Yeah grandparents like to exaggerate things a little.
wordygirl 11
That truly bites! Hope you are o.k. now! Your grandpa is hilarious!
HowlingFire 21
Is your name Hank Hill?