Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML
Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
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Top comments
rattusrattus 19
You can walk and chew gum at the same time. You just can't walk, chew gum, and navigate around the dog at the same time.
Legendslayer222 26
Keep practicing, and maybe one day you will prove them all wrong!
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Comments (103)
SS 31
Hey, don't be too harsh on OP. His/her dad probably didn't believe OP could chew and walk. FYL
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
And he was correct.
mikeofthunder 13
You must be impressively stupid for your dad to question that hardly-skillful act ;) And since I'm impressed, take that as an accomplishment :D
nikkinurse 10
Why wouldn't u be able to walk and Chew gum at the same time???
SkoomaKi 28
Aliens.
TBelle4Ever 15
One does not simply chew gum and walk at the same time
jdb241 9
I'm not sure what's sadder. That you had to prove it or that you failed
DocBastard 40
It's better to be thought a clumsy oaf than to trip over your dog and prove it. Hm...somehow I don't think the adage goes exactly like that. Ah, hell with it. It still works.
AholeCop 11
It's better to pretend you're actually chewing the gum, than to open your mouth and prove your not...
afropuffjake 9
But that would have only been more embarrassing for OP...
kickass1stbase 7
That reminds me of the Suite Life of Zack and Cody
SeepingSarcasm 7
Was this before or after you gave him the $200 you owed him for your previous bet?
dino_cookie4 7
That basicly means you cant walk and talk.
AgaveLoco 5
And that is a challenge?