Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
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Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
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Comments (197)
MrGroovy28 7
I didn't realize people from Australia even used the word bangable. That's typically a slang term used in the urban areas in US. Anyway, I feel like there is a relatively high chance your future with company is doomed. You might as well have a discussion with your boss and compliment her work. Did you notice her last name lol
daminantion 14
I didn't think Americans used long words like 'doomed', figured that was for higher class world leaders like European and commonwealth.. Hmm..
memob123 0
Comment Moderated
DracoSpirita 21
Sometimes women don't change their last names when they get married...
Trisha_aus 15
The normal ones don't..Op is an asshole
schmelia 10
We get a lot of American tv over here so tend to pick up a lot of the same language. It's kinda unfortunate though because a lot of kids who watch too many US shows start using American pronunciation instead of Australian/British.
xxdark 3
We do. Actually, in a lot of ways, Australia mimics the US as much as possible. But with an Aussie twist to it all. It's actually really pathetic to watch happen, loll.
KillSwitch96 18
Was she not wearing a ring?
milphil 1
OP described her as bangable. I bet he didn't care about her marital status.
linkinpark98 24
She could have just taken it off for work-related reasons. Why do people always jump to conclusions that when a married woman forgets to wear her ring, she is automatically a *****? -_-
downtime 13
134, I don't see anything indicating anything like that at all...oversensitive much?
MrGroovy28 7
You look "bangable" in your nun outfit lmao
KillSwitch96 18
For now just hope your boss doesn't find out about this.
emmaweeee 0
smooth move OP
ceegee415 5
Ydi for not taking a hint and having to have it spelled out for you.
Tempest559 12
So... Did you hit it?
DiscoRanger 0
If he hit it, why would this be a FML?
spottyblanket 8
Check her ringfinger next time, YDI
coried91 28
Or she could have forgot to put it on that morning. I've walked out of the house, got into my car, and halfway to where I'm going and then said "shit, my ring!"
chemchic 7
OUCH!!
biggestfan23 11
The sentence where it said he left hints saying she was a bangable is where this became a ydi. There's rarely any subtle ways to say I wanna bang you