Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (197)
mikeymayhem_87 15
Hmmmm.... I am guessing that wedding ring of hers is just a piece of metal to you, OP. YDI for treading dangerous waters!
RebelYell14 4
That's 2 reasons to leave that job as quickly as possible: him and her.
gracehi 33
Nothing wrong with telling someone you're attracted to them as long as you're respectful about it. Hope you were a gentleman and maybe this won't come back to haunt you. However, since you described her as "bangable" in your post I doubt you were. YDI.
jellybeardoggie 4
Shut up
kayla_ann0o 9
She never said no (;
greenmen 12
Yeah do it or lose it HAHA
bigdurrdy 4
::sarcasm:: Yeah, because all women in your office are put there for your banging purposes. You deserved it. I hope you're fired.
samanthajonesdru 1
Wow...guys these days have no class. It's a sad sad day...
LovexInfinity 5
Smooth move!
bobbyn25 3
is it that difficult to look at somebody's left hand before implying that they are "bankable"?
linkinpark98 24
Really?… Saying "shut up" behind a computer screen is almost as bad as going up to the school bully, pinching him, then running away like a bitch.