Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML
Today, at work, a man punched me in the face because he said I took his son's job. He meant both me and his son applied for the same job. He also asked to speak to my boss, because he thinks I "cheated." FML
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML
Today, my boss tried to fire me for not emailing him a screenshot to prove my email wasn't working. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, I was fired, all because I asked my manager for help on the line when we were short staffed and he was on his butt in the office. He said it wasn't his job to help us. Apparently, asking your manager for help when you're busy gets you fired. FML
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Top comments
howitsdone 0
we all know paperclips aren't what you really wanted
starberries 0
Hey, baby. How about a nice big handful of those sexy paper clips?
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Comments (73)
howitsdone 0
we all know paperclips aren't what you really wanted
Kiill3rQu33n16 0
paperclips=pussy. :)
KiddNYC1O 22
lol, he said he's "never seen faker ****" but she thought he said "have you seen bigger dicks?". Geez
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
with today's young people lingo paperclips actually means "I want to hold you together" also asking for the stapler means "I want to have sex with you"
awesomness123 0
classic paper clip move
iSitt 0
Because the wife was the one who tried to seduce the op but when he rejected her she accused him.
BigZadii 0
he didn't say "paper clips" he said "kiss the tip"
Judus_beej 0
well then can I put your paperclip in my mouth? lol j/k
FarSide 23
Since you had your turgid package hanging out while asking?
SynchronicityII 0
I guess that's what the kids are calling them these days...
Creamysweeps 5
??? can you pass me that pussy? yeah, right
climbthoserocks 6
haha! go number 1.
caraphernelia 0
you said 'nice ****' instead of paper clips.
ShadyFTW1 0
lol
starberries 0
Hey, baby. How about a nice big handful of those sexy paper clips?
clownman 0
what tone of voice did you use when you asked? and were your pants around your ankles?
AMAZINashleigh 6
Hahahahaha.
ntherewas1 11
If the exchange was something like you asking, she asking what you asked, you repeating, her getting it, she getting embarassed, you then laughing at how silly she was, she then laughing at herself, you then continuing to joke about it in front of your boss then yeah, maybe a really neurotic and insecure person might view that as flirting. There probably was a degree of playfulness anyway; if you're an affable guy, then you could turn the charm on anything.
mountneer 0
it all depends on what you do with the paper clips..
DocBastard 40
If she happened to have them hidden in her cleavage and you offered to get them for her...
moosemonkey1000 6
oh come on doc we know you can do better
DocBastard 40
Sorry, Moose. It can't be comedy gold every time.
colombiancartel 0
Depends on the tone "Do you haveeee paperclipssss;)"
ItsJustMak 0
damnnn nice pic ;)
colombiancartel 0
Glad you like;)
dicklover69 0
cute picture. i wonder how do you get such a hot body. spill the secrets.
RedPillSucks 33
The "secret" seems to be spilling out over the edge of the clothing. There are some secrets that are better kept.
colombiancartel 0
Oh! stop! dont flatter me!
lovestrong 0
You must have been competition. :D
efilymf2521 0
By now u should ve collected clips worth an year's office use... if that costed u a job! lol
katiesmurph 5
I have no idea what you were trying to say. Please learn to spell
efilymf2521 0
ty