Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML
Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML
Today, I found out that my amazing sugar and oil olive body scrub will cause the next person to get in the shower to slip and break an arm. We have no insurance. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, I decided to try a new hair removal cream. Turns out, I'm allergic to it. My face now looks like a tomato with eyebrows. FML
Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Roxxay 6
it wouldn't work anyway, OP. cellulite is like Harry Potter, nothing can destroy them.
aktopps 0
That's why all instructions should be like IKEA's.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
Miranday 0
Read the $@&% instructions next time.
holycraplions 4
YDI for managing to get that outcome from a body scrub. Exfoliation isn't rocket science.
theybebitchin 4
Who the hell scrubs their ass?
Kittehx3 0
people who like being clean. o.o
pooponyuou 0
it's not like anyones seeing it anytime soon
jess6blondie9 3
Nothing really can get rid of cellulite. It's just one of the few lovely things that girls have to deal with, unfortunately. :/
TheXTG8680 0
pictures or it didn't happen
SCOTTY_DAY 0
It's called exercising. And putting down that bag of chips for some fruit. gross.
fraqtl 1
on the bright side, no one will ever know cause no one wants to look at a behind with that much cellulite!
MecAdrian 0
I would still tap that;)
cando707 0
avoid processed food, eat vegetables, fruit (organic is best) and fresh meat-very little fat, whole grains. Use good for you oils (olive, canola, smart balance spread) and do not fry it. Drink lots of water, herbal tea no caffiene. exercise is good to help. Both of these don't cure but will help and reduce. Coffee Sugar Cellulite Scrub Another good cellulite solution is coffee. Some experts believe caffeine increases blood flow and helps eliminate unwanted fluid in your skin's cells. Ingredients You Will Need ½ cup sugar ½ cup ground coffee 1 cup olive oil Directions: Mix the ingredients in an old jar that you can store the scrub in. Bring it into the shower and massage the scrub into your cellulite-prone areas. Use circular motions and spend about 10 minutes with the solution on your skin before rinsing.