Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML
Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML
Today, I found out that my amazing sugar and oil olive body scrub will cause the next person to get in the shower to slip and break an arm. We have no insurance. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, I decided to try a new hair removal cream. Turns out, I'm allergic to it. My face now looks like a tomato with eyebrows. FML
Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
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Top comments
Roxxay 6
it wouldn't work anyway, OP. cellulite is like Harry Potter, nothing can destroy them.
aktopps 0
That's why all instructions should be like IKEA's.
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Comments (60)
massagenist 0
I love girls who wear short shorts to show off their cellulite free legs.
Crittz 0
YDI for believing some kind of "scrub" can get rid of cellulite.
sammieboy81 0
turn lights off and get ur freak on.
DaveOnDope 4
This is a response to #22 I always have sex with the lights on. On the rare occasion, I turn that light off. Ugly women not only deserve love too, they do their best for round two as well.
Zebidee 9
Precisely. A cellulite removing body scrub? Really? Sounds more like a moron tax to me.
techweed 12
YDI for being named "Shirley"
Zebidee 9
Her last name is 'Ucantbsiryus'.
ulicksam 0
You're an idiot for thinking a soap can wash away cellulite.
SeaChicken 0
You're an idiot for being an idiot. Doesn't make sense either, huh. Just like your posts.
FistFightingJesu 0
YDI for trying to lose cellulite the lazy way
iTzCindyLove 3
After I read, "I didn't read the instructions correctly..." I clicked the You deserved it button and laughed.
Calyx_fml 22
No scrub removes cellulite. Exercize and stop eating dairy.
HomeAl0ne 20
I know the soap OP means and the instructions are a bit misleading. The first time I read them I thought they said "Bolt bar to angle grinder and apply to skin until it looks like an angry cat massaged you."