Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
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Top comments
Privations_fml 0
Someone's been drinking a bit too much butterbeer.
afdude87 6
muggles: they're everywhere, tryin to steal my whiskey.
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Comments (131)
calcetines 0
I however *am* being a creeper... Mmm... ;)
1958x 6
Well, Butterbeer does taste good. Unfortunate that she's still drinking though.
autumn88_fml_fml 0
Hahahah! I was just reading harry potter lol.
stephanyk2 7
cool mom:)
massagenist 0
why does Charlie sheen hate aa ? he thinks it's bs
LoonyPheebs 0
Dude, your mom used the word "muggle," and although she's a recovering alcoholic (sorry about that!) that gives her cool points :)
needsagf14 12
dumb
sweetiffany 0
sorry to hear about your mom, but that's just hilarious! Gotta love Harry potter.
Prupel 0
Now, after ten full minutes, I'm still laughing.
zomglol 3
Ooh! Ooh! Which movie did you see? :L