Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
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Top comments
Privations_fml 0
Someone's been drinking a bit too much butterbeer.
afdude87 6
muggles: they're everywhere, tryin to steal my whiskey.
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Comments (131)
justcreepinggg 9
On second thought, I realized I love all these comments xD
sithlordnergal 5
OP, you may want to keep an eye on the amount of Fluxweed, Boomslang Skin, and Knotgrass you have in the house. If it's steadily disappearing, call in the local Aurors. You could have an escaped, insane killer on your hands. Just remember, if you suddenly find yourself registered for some kind of tournament that you never entered yourself, try to quit the match.
Argretto 5
Your mum sounds awesome
Violord 13
I take offense to that.
AxelTheBrit 17
She should lay off the firewhiskey