Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, on a plane home from Ireland, my husband who was severely hungover, vomitted in a bag before we took off. When he got up to put the bag in the bin the stewardess forced him to sit back down. I had to hold on to a bag full of vomit for a good few minutes whilst my husband was passed out. FML
Today, I took my toddler on a flight alone for the first time. I packed snacks, toys, everything. Thirty minutes after takeoff, he threw his juice straight onto my lap, then screamed for the exact snack I'd forgotten. The passenger next to me offered tissues and said, “First time?” I nodded, covered in sticky apple juice, for the next two hours. FML
Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
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Top comments
Skittles_Rawr 8
Instead if the vodka, just sit back and take deep breaths. I have a horrible fear of flying :(
schnouttz 3
vomiting on your lap must be left for intelligent people.
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Comments (123)
ClosetTroll 10
Earplugs/ headphones are very effective in dealing with the change in air pressure. As for turbulence, just try to stay calm and lay off the booze. Not a good idea at all when you are shaking at 30,000 feet.
loserman67 36
What airline were you flying on that has free booze? Or were you i first class?
mk58 31
Personally, I don't like flying because my ears always pop and are always affected by this popping feeling even after the flight. Maybe you should just swim across the oceans when you need to travel overseas.
iamyourgod 3
A couple good yawns and it completely goes away.
mk58 31
Oh trust me, I've tried that. Even earplugs and gum don't help.
catatonicsleep 17
I get the same problem with air pressure, if you can put something warm just behind your ear lobe on your neck it helps with the discomfort :)
kcutie 0
Free alcohol? What airline is that?! Take me with you next time. ;)
alicekittykatt 0
Mmm vodka wat kind??? :)
superfluffy 1
next time try whiskey tends to go down AND come up smoother
mintcar 10
I would've just say back and listened to some Smashing Pumpkins or The Cure. Pretty soothing stuff.
gkdine18 1
Good bands always make everything better, yeah
mintcar 10
Agreed.
Bladian 5
Every single one of your comments creeps me out.
pexy_fml 16
next time dont take the plane
mintcar 10
Obviously he wouldn't have taken it if it was unnecessary to do so.
TheDrifter 24
There is a valium lady on every flight I take. They're awesome, the read bobbing, drooling and all, especially if they have a low cut top so the drool can pool up instead of absorbing. If she talks in her sleep it's like winning an in flight comedic lottery.