Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, on a plane home from Ireland, my husband who was severely hungover, vomitted in a bag before we took off. When he got up to put the bag in the bin the stewardess forced him to sit back down. I had to hold on to a bag full of vomit for a good few minutes whilst my husband was passed out. FML
Today, I took my toddler on a flight alone for the first time. I packed snacks, toys, everything. Thirty minutes after takeoff, he threw his juice straight onto my lap, then screamed for the exact snack I'd forgotten. The passenger next to me offered tissues and said, “First time?” I nodded, covered in sticky apple juice, for the next two hours. FML
Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
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Top comments
Skittles_Rawr 8
Instead if the vodka, just sit back and take deep breaths. I have a horrible fear of flying :(
schnouttz 3
vomiting on your lap must be left for intelligent people.
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Comments (123)
Trisha_aus 15
Listen to the awesome song turbulence! Or earthquakey people!! I'll still keep on dancinnnnnn
worldclassrager 41
Anytime Alcohol Is Free Take It...The Way Flights Are Now I'm Glad Its Free...I Don't Drink Though...But For Sure FYL...
mikeymayhem_87 15
I hate flying. Mostly due to the ear popping and shitty movies we're forced to watch. Hopefully it'll get better for you, OP!
blackrose131 2
Ummmm... You can't be terrorized by a situation. You can, however, be terrified. Maybe they could pick up a book and learn some English to take their mind off of the flight. Just saying.
fuckmebutdontfml 16
at least you picked vodka instead of rum and it was free, you'll get use to flying don't worry just take a book with you or a portable DVD next time it will help you forget you are flying
TylerDirty 15
Flying for the first time can be nerve wrecking, it will get better the more you do it :)
cookieking101 0
I love flying! I have no fear of flying :)
nadnerbz 6
What airline had free booze? That's where I'm flying for now on
hondawonderboy 4
Newb
rolls_royce 0
Well as a little bit of comfort maybe, the airplane will not break because of turbulence it is like riding in a boat you just can't see the waves of air moving making the plane bounce sometimes. The worst there is is an incompetent pilot. Really I am a pilot and aircraft mechanic. The biggest factor in crashes or just stuff breaking is human error and mostly the pilot.